It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

This mornings what the fuck Wednesday is brought to you by, interruption! Ah yes, they love to just come and mess around. At least today it was a good laugh!

I get up early, like five or six in the morning early, I like my fucking coffee with silence and meditation. I do this purposely as my kids are lazy little shits and typically sleep in since there is no school. Of course it did not happen this morning because it is fucking Wednesday!

Smack dab in the middle of meditation the eleven year old wakes, of course, why not? She can’t control when she gets up but she could control bugging me. She just fucking chooses not to. So there I am coffee in hand, trying to do my meditation in peace and she starts talking. As if I can hear a fucking thing, I throw my hands up at her to say so.

All of a sudden she starts acting out ques for charades, okay, this is can do lol. So as she goes along, arms up, arms down, shake yes, shake no, I can not help but start laughing. She gives me the snobby ass preteen look and heads to the kitchen counter. What the fuck for is funnier than shit!

As I watch her, she begins reading the labels of the cleaners I left there. Scoops one up, reads another, scoops that one up and by the time she is ready to head back to me her arms are full. I mean she had like four fucking products, I couldn’t help but giggle!

Walking back to the couch, her arms full, I pause my music and snap photos, yes I am that mom!. She starts setting them down, she begins pointing out certain letters on each, well fuck me! I was laughing so hard at how she went about this there was snorts, tears and fucking laughter for a good ten minutes.

Then I realize three things, first off I should teach her some word scramble she could’ve just used one product bottle, second that girl really needs to work on her spelling and third I need my kids back in school so that I don’t have to teach her either of those fucking things.

Once I figured out what it was, she threw herself back on the couch looking like she had just run a fucking marathon! Then pleased with herself for getting it done and me laughing so fucking hard, she went back to bed. Oh man this is gonna be a long ass year!

I can’t wait for the others to get up, I can only hope they are as entertaining on this What The Fuck Wednesday as she was.

It’s A Monday Memory Day

Alright, this one might slap you hard in the feels, make your eyes tear or cause you to reminisce on something that really fucking sucked.

This past weekend I was reminded that life is short, too fucking short for some. My very good, loving, amazing friend had to tell her children their father passed. All I want to do is go hold her until the pain she feels subsides, to wipe her tears and just fucking be there and I can’t. It kills me, so I am going to do what I do best and share my writing.

I wrote the piece of poetry below around the nine year mark of the loss of my father. I hope that it can be related to for anyone who has suffered through such an event. It’s not fucking easy.

Dreams of those lost
are how they come back to us
As i walk among the silent grounds
Passing all the etched polished stones
I look for you left unmarked
A secret path only in my heart
The trees above shading us
I lay myself down to a rest
Seeking solice atop the grass
I have but only one thing to ask
Please come back just one more time
I miss your guidance in this life
I need you now more than ever
I want just one more day together
A single kiss and hug goodbye
An embrace only you can provide
Just once more to hear you say
I love you my angel, you’ll be okay

Tell the people you love that you fucking love them while you can. Time is not guaranteed to any of us. Make the best of it.

Shameless Self Promo Saturday

Well it is that time people to shamelessly self promote your shit! I have decided to give you a ranting glimpse inside the wonderful bullshit of raising kids from So You’re Not Supermom…It’s OK! Rants of a foul mouthed mom Volume 1.

Let’s be honest the crap you download from the book previews online fucking suck!

Do Ends Meet?
One of the absolute hardest, most defeating parts of raising kids is making ends meet!
You rob Peter, fuck Paul because the kids need to eat.
You rob Paul, fuck Peter because the kids are sick.
You take a loan to pay a loan to get another fucking loan because the utilities are going to be disconnected.
You beg, borrow and steal in every way possible just to realize you’re fucked for another month.
You stand in line at the food bank hoping you don’t run into anyone else you know because your shame and guilt of having to be there is too much.
You stop eating most days and lie to your children that you’re not hungry to ensure they are full before you even go near what’s left on the stove.
You go to bed stressed and crying and you wake stressed and crying not knowing where you’ll find the cash.
You feel like shit while you do it because you feel like you have to.
Yes this is making ends meet in the life of raising kids.

It is all perfectly fine!
I fucking dread bills! Those bastards get paid and by the time that happens the next bastards need to be fucking paid!
Well guess what world?
MY ASS IS NOT A BANK MACHINE!
I CANNOT JUST SWIPE AND PULL!
If you have kids that all made sense and if don’t have kids yet, well it will when you do.
I’m starting to believe nobody ever gets ahead on these things, they never end, they just keep fucking coming!
The good news is since bills will always be there it’s perfectly fine to rob one for the other!
To skip that payment for what your child needs.
To rob a bill just enough to get the little buggars enough food to eat the following month.
The reason?

You put that little human being first!
You are still providing what they need when it’s needed.
You are still a great parent even though you don’t feel like it.
You made it work!
You made it another day, week or month without the kids having to starve or continue to be sick or whatever.
You can now rest easy for a bit knowing all this.
Don’t forget it was you!
You beautiful parent!

Words of Wisdom
Money can’t buy everything
It only buys wants, not needs

If you made it this far down the page feel free to shamelessly drop your Saturday Self Promo Shit! Then share it, follow, and repeat! If you found this crap as good as I do you can snag it for $0.99 here or free on kindle unlimited.

Fuck It Friday!

Ooohhhh, it is my favorite day of the long ass week! Fuck it Friday.

The kids have been absolute gems all week, everything went perfectly, you worked, you cleaned, you cooked, oh my gawd, who the fuck am I trying to lie to? It was shit none of that really happened! But………

Wahoo! you all survived the chaos of the days before, it is Friday the sun is fucking shining, birds are chirping and the day has only begun. I am two coffees in and the kids are still in a state of slumber, man Friday is great.

So what does fuck it Friday mean? Well it means fuck it!

That’s right all those things you think you have to do fuck it.

Laundry piled up?, fuck it. Dishes need to be washed?, fuck it. Kids are trying to beat each other?, fuck it (for real, let them figure out how to deal with their own shit, we are not gonna be here forever.)

Want to binge Netflix?, fuck yeah, do it! Want to take a nap?, that is the absolute fucking best, lay your ass down, you deserve it. Want to pour that drink or crack that beer at one o’clock in the beaming sun?, shit it is always five o’clock somewhere, do it! Don’t want to cook?, no worries teach the kids, it’s about time their ass’s learn how or order in, both fantastic options on a Friday!

Today, all those are my Fuck it Friday list, I have no shame in it either! I work hard to take one day a week and say Fuck it, to everything.

What’s on the docket for your Fuck it Friday?

Thursday’s Unpleasant Thoughts!

I just spent the last two hours listening to my mother talk about her preparation for death! How she is putting money away for this and that, the codes to access everything, the lay out of her will, and all that shit! As if she is going to fucking die any day soon. She is way too stubborn for that shit to happen.

But it got me thinking of when I found my dad passed away in his hospital bed, slumped off the edge, only feet from the nurses station and the shit that followed that dreadful fucking experience of loss. He had nothing. Nothing saved, nothing in order, nothing laid out and it was all left to us children to figure out what the fuck to do on our own.

These processes of life are less than fucking pleasant thoughts to have but in some strange way are so very necessary in ones life. Now how the fuck do you go about crap that you know must inevitably deal with but have no clue how to deal with? Well I don’t fucking know either so if anyone has any advice I would love some.

The only one thing I have ever put in place is life insurance to ensure my little shits do not have to break their banks worrying about how to cover the costs of my demise. That is it, I am not old, but over the last few years a lot of those I have grown up have been taken in untimely ways. I am also not very young anymore either, kind of just fucking stuck in the middle of life.

Maybe it is time to get my own shit together. It is bound to happen eventually, it is inevitable that we all must lay our asses to rest for good at some point.

Yup, that is Thursday’s Unpleasant Thoughts!

Maybe next week I will have something better to spew out of my fucking head. Or at least less dark and disturbing would be just great.

Then again maybe not!

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Ah yes, it must be fucking Wednesday! Sun isn’t shining, kids are miserable, I am only two fucking coffees in and already I would love to go curl back up into bed!

WTF Wednesday is in full swing this week! How do I know? Well within this very short time of being up, waking my youngest made him absolutely fucking miserable, not a little miserable but to the core everything is pissing him off!

I had to wake him early to ensure he got his ADHD meds today, I could not handle another day of him sleeping in and it being too late for meds to be administered where he literally climbs the fucking walls. I mean literally!

Meds in, not without a fight he went to get himself cereal, not much milk left, which is a typical thing in my house. He however, is throwing a tantrum over it. He poured way too big of a bowl and me not wanting to waste food I went to dump some back in the box. Smart idea right? I thought so too but not so fucking much, yup its now filled with milk remnants, well fuck, there goes a brand new box of cereal.

Youngest all pissed off and impatient as he loves his shit a certain way, I had to send the oldest for milk, thank god for licensed children some days! But if that kid could just close the front door without my walls shaking that would be fucking great too!

Only two kids are up so far cannot wait for the others to open their eyes (insert serious amount of sarcasm here)

Milk arrived, poured and cereal served now equals an unhappy child as he says there is too many cheerios versus the amount of corn pops he poured. Five bites later he is full. (insert my eyes rolling to the back of my head)

Yup all that chaos for five fucking bites of food!

At least he is fed and slightly less miserable at the moment.

Seriously though………

WTF Wednesday WTF!!!!!

Learn More About Me

I recently did a wonderful little Q & A session with Indie Book Butler. Want to learn some little tidbits of random shit about me? You can do it here.

Book Review: Crayons and Chaos by Hayley Walsh

Honestly, I do not read a lot, I am too fucking tired, lazy and usually have no desire to immerse myself inside another persons writings. Especially while I am so damn busy writing my own shit.

However, with this lovely little read I could not help myself, yeah it still took me a few days to finish it but I am so glad I did.

As a step mother myself, I can absolutely sympathize with every snag of having to deal with another fucking person thinking you are an idiot and constantly needing to rearrange life on her dime. It sucks!

The putting yourself off, throwing your care aside and just doing what you need to do for the kids is a selfless act especially as a stepparent. Do not under any circumstances allow someone to try and tell you any fucking different.

Hayley lays out an honest look as a stepmom, all the self doubts, the struggles and the love that comes eventually by pushing through it all.

Yes, it accurately can take years to get them to show even the slightest amount of affection. Shit I am going on ten years now and my stepson barely says hi to me still, rarely says thank you and still is yet to ever hug me or say I love you!

Her trial and error of having kids is one any parent can definitely relate too and oh my did the clothes line story fucking kill me with laughter. I had to reread that shit a couple times just to make sure I was reading it correctly. That was good shit.

If you want to know that full dilemma of hers read the damn book.

This truly was such a wonderful read, I got some good laughs from it so anyone who is looking for a little extra to not feel so fucking alone please give it a try.

You can find Hayley’s inspiration behind her sweet little novella here (don’t be confused hit the literal word “here”)

I do not think you will regret it. So get it.

What a Whirlwind!

These last days and weeks have been absolutely fucking insane! My head is still spinning.

The out pour of support and love towards my creative vulgar ranting has been so much I think I have floated to cloud nine too many fucking times now to return.

Nervous as fuck I went and did a podcast which was both exhilarating and humbling! Hoping to gawd I do not end up sounding like a high and mighty know it all when I am so clearly not even close when it comes to being a parent.

But I want to give a shout out to Moments of Grace for having me on anyway. It was a great time with a deep and meaningful conversation about being parents. It will air later this year so keep an eye out.

Among all this shit above I have started a YouTube channel where every Saturday I do some randomly shitty video of me reading my crap I spew out! It’s awesome but not really, haha I have no shame in my writings. I am an honest person and write in an honest manner, this will never change.

Then there is the bullshit tasks of trying to educate my kids from home. In all honesty I am absolutely fucking failing at this! No not because I am sitting here writing this right now, but in general. There are reasons I never fucking home schooled my kids and every one of those reasons is definitely coming to light recently.

I am not a teacher, I don’t know how they do it actually, I have mass fucking respect for them and any other parent who can teach their own kids a good education! I am at your feet bowing honestly. I am not one of these parents and even though I left my job to do it, I still am struggling so bad with it and I am sure I am not the only one.

Thank fuck! As I feel some comfort in the fact I am not the only who is having a hard time.

Kudos to any and all taking it one day at time with all the schooling, working, being at home twenty-four seven and still getting out of bed each day to do what you can.

It is not easy and with a lot of fucking luck and dedication each day passed is another closer to the end!

Coming Soon: A Podcast Interview

I will be recording a podcast interview with A Jerome R Butler! He has had some great topics covered and I look forward to it airing later this year!
Please check out his previous podcasts here if you’re interested! https://anchor.fm/Momentsofgrace/episodes/The-Word-for-Word-Bible-Comic-eb9inb?fbclid=IwAR2vTdNHJdTt5hJ-P19zW2LR5JlGE0aWzfyq5viixF3fLV_2xLvgjF0QMyM

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