It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Today’s What the Fuck Wednesday must be some kind of calm before the storm. I had a great sleep. I am only up about an hour before my alarm and the the house is quiet. I mean dead fucking quiet.

This has got to be due to having no kids! That’s right absolutely no fucking kids. Alllll week.

How did I get so fucking lucky? Well sometimes being a blended family is nice, I can split them up into directions and with different people and my house falls eerily fucking silent. Let’s be honest nobody in their right mind wants seven kids at once if they didn’t make them.

It does not happen often and I actually have a horrible time dealing with it as i am not used to it.

But I do attempt to enjoy it as well. I do not have to cook, clean, yell, chase or fight any kids and have done nothing the last three days. For real I have accomplished fuck all on all levels, it is fantastic, as well as odd.

While my morning is calm, my night was rested there is still a day of work and tonight for something to happen. I am not being a downer just a realist.

Just to make my What the Fuck Wednesday even better I am going throw in the fact I now have official So You’re Not Supermom….It’s Ok! coffee mugs up for grabs. Get in touch if interested. They are $20 CAD each plus shipping which determining shipping is on my list of shit to do this week.

Happy What the Fuck Wednesday all. Have a fanfuckintastic one!

Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

Well I did not post on fuck it Friday, it was part of my fuck it list, a very long list this week. As I was exhausted and spent the evening after work trying to get my kids to clean. Nasty little creatures they are. Gawd I love them though.

A new day and another Saturday to bring on the sweet ass promoting though.

With two books out now of So You’re Not Supermom….It’s Ok! I am not sure which one to put a bit of for today but i did receive a couple more readings from hunnygoddess and you can check those here and here. If paperback is your style get in touch I have a shipment coming!

So I am going throw out something different. This will be in my upcoming memoir later this year. A look into the depths of my life. This is a much lighter section of it, there is some heavy fucking shit in this book.

“At the time I don’t believe any of us truly understood. We were all so young, under the age of about ten. The mentality and comprehension at our ages were not developed enough to realize or make such a decision.
Even today, it is a hard situation that cannot easily be understood or explained. As sat we all agreed that it would be awesome, that we were all okay with it and so the decision was made.
My father was always there for us. He started his journey transitioning into a female. He would still raise us with our mom and life would continue as per usual. At least that was the lie we were told and thought, but it didn’t end that way.
Not long down the life path we moved to a small trailer next to my first school and, of all things, a fucking taxidermy. It was traumatizing.
My room stood to the back of the trailer and out the window the only view was piles of bones. They were stacked against the side of the taxidermy building next door and strewn through the small patch of grass between us. Some of them still fresh enough to have slight remains of flesh and meat, while others had been there for so long they were breaking and decaying. If you want to give a kid nightmares, you’d live there.
Living here had its ups and downs for all of us. Our school was right next door, and that was nice. Things seemed good. Nobody knew us, nobody knew of the transition yet, and we continued on with life.
Until that one day, I still sit here wondering what the fuck it was about. I can only speculate that it had something to do with my dad’s choice to transition. In the nineties, such things didn’t happen in the public eye. Nobody made it known, and you definitely did not do it in a small hick town where all things new and unknown were rejected.”

An excerpt from All The Wrong Love. Abuse Betrayal Forgiveness A Memoir.

Happy Shameless Self Promo Saturday! Show me what you got and drop a comment below with yours!

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!!

Honestly, when I went to bed last night I thought this Wednesday would be different. You know since it is only technically a fucking Tuesday for the work week as it was a long weekend. But I was wrong! So very fucking wrong.

Now I still to this what the fuck Wednesday have not figured out why this is the day of the week that is always ridiculously fucking stupid. I have tried it all to not have it happen but fuck me, it always finds a way to be shit!

So here we go my what the fuck Wednesday morning in a nutshell.

It all began on my middle of night pee. 2 AM today, again as I rise from the depth of a decent sleep after having gone to bed early, I make my way upstairs. Ah silence! That is until the youngest yet again calls into the depths of the dark of the hallway from his bedroom.

Heeellooooooo! Who’s there? Mom? Mom?

That little shit knows it’s me I am the only one who gets up at any point throughout the night besides him.

As he exits his room, I hear it, mom I’m hungry. Well of course he is! He’s awake and refused to eat at dinner time which is not unusual and he ate around 9 PM before bed due to his ADHD medications.

Ugh, get a snack and go back to bed already! Well if he didn’t bring me a cold peach tea from the fridge.

Can I have this? Fuck NO! You can not. A: that is not food and B: it has enough caffiene in it to keep you up for days! Food! pick something that requires chewing!

So, he decides on macaroni salad, now he takes forever to eat, like one fucking noodle at a time forever. As I waited for him to finish to get him back to bed, being a woman kicks in. Shoot me now, I swear the older I get the worse it is!

Alright, back in bed, curled up in a fetal position, trying to sleep took a couple hours, alarm goes off, fuck!!!!

Get up do my usual, coffee, meditation, get dressed, pack for work, where the fuck did my keys go?

Yay, seek the keys! What the hell did the 15 year old do with them? He surely didn’t hang them on the key rack where they fucking belong because you know, why the fuck would he do that?

Twenty minutes later after emptying the entire purse, which I should probably clean out, there’s a lot of shit in there, I find them! Ugh off to work, tired, crampy and miserable.

What the Fuck Wednesday? Why do you have to be such a bitch every week?

I give up. I am just going to go with the WTF flow.

Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

Oh, yes, another day to fill my feeds with the crap I have published. Today I get to fill it with two sets. Yes, there is officially two books of the shit I spew out now. I know what you might be thinking, how is it possible to have that much? Well seven kids is how.

The good part is, if you enjoyed the first set of shit then you will enjoy the second because it is literally the same just new ones.

You do not have to have kids, be a mom or a woman at all, men count too you know and as the reviews from all types say it is at the very least a good fucking laugh.

So need a laugh? Then buy the fucking books lol. $0.99 each, you can get both cheaper than a cup of coffee and they are great to read with coffee. Mmmmmmm coffee, I am off to make myself some.

Book 1: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CG5JCPY

Book 2: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0871TJW55

Feel free to drop your self promo links in the comments. Happy promoting!

It’s Fuck It Friday!

This one is brought to you by the letter S. The word of the day is Sleepless. Yes sleepless as it has been a sleepless fucking night.

Youngest boy refused to sleep last night, up, down, hungry, playing, drinks, bathroom, you fucking name it he had it all covered. To this moment he still has not passed out, I wish I had half his fucking energy. I figured for sure he would be in lala land by now, but nope, his ADHD is strong and going hard since yesterday. I even tried melatonin which usually does the trick except last night.

So fuck it Friday is equal to absolutely nothing getting done and naps!

Oh there will be naps today outside of that my demeanor truly is fuck it!

I have both clean and dirty laundry piled but fuck it. Dishes that require to be unloaded and loaded into the dishwasher but fuck it. Bathrooms that need to be cleaned but fuck it. Meals that need to be cooked tonight but fuck it.

It’s a long weekend and all that shit can wait and food can be ordered, thank god that is still available to me. This mama is on a fuck it Friday roll and I have no shame in it after a long week of work, kids and cooking.

What are you going to say fuck it to on this lovely, long weekend Friday?

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Good fucking morning! It is that wonderful time of the week. You know how I know?

Well, middle of the night last night I woke up to use the bathroom. Really that happens every night, my bladder is not the same after being used as a fucking punching bag through six pregnancies but as I was up I thought all were asleep.

The house was quiet, went to take dogs out and I begin to hear, hellooo, hellooooo, who’s there? The youngest fucking wide awake doing an eerily creepy call into the dark abyss of the house.

Now, I figured if I ignored him he would go back to bed. So I take the dogs out. Turn around in the dark to see his face up against the screen door looking out. Not going to lie, slight fucking heart attack there from the little shit.

Moooom, he whispers, I’m hungry. For fuck sake it’s 1 AM get a snack and go to bed. He gets a snack, goes to bed. Okay, good to go back to bed. Nope.

He then decides to come and make it known he needs a shirt. For real he had a fucking shirt on while asking. There was nothing wrong with it, he just did not want to sleep. Like fuck, I was not about to rummage through laundry it was nearly 1:30 AM now. Finally, I convinced him to go back to bed and went myself.

I hate the half awake, half asleep state it’s bullshit. Next thing I know I am wide awake early! Before my fucking alarm for work! I mean, I love seeing a good sunrise but not when sleep eluded me and I am now back to work.

Now this mama is off to work with bloodshot sleepless eyes and not enough caffeine in the fucking world.

How’s your what the fuck Wednesday?

It’s A Fuck It Friday Giveaway!

Well the week has ended and Mother’s Day is just around the corner. So this fuck it Friday I have decided fuck it, I want to make some other mama’s happy and give them a good laugh at shit. In order to do that I am hosting 3 giveaways for book 1.

Just so you know you don’t #struggle alone in #parenting.

I will choose 5 mama’s

The price of a card!

I am doing it on instagram @ JNSUPERMOM & Twitter @jess38049045 & Facebook @ https://www.facebook.com/jnsupermom/ for more chances…you can click the page names to go directly to them. Go like, share, or comment on the giveaway post to be entered. I will pick 5 from each platform giving more chances. I will draw names tomorrow night May 9 2020 around 6pm mountain time!

Just say Fuck it and enter you have nothing to lose but a chance to win.

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Oh for fuck sake! It’s Wednesday and it started early today. I mean like 4:30 AM fucking early.

Oh what a peaceful sleep it started out to be, until my ears started listening to the world around me. Hate when they do that shit!

Pew pew, take that. Nooooooo! Ahhhhhh! You can’t win. Raaahhhhh clash, smack, boom. You’re dead. Hahahahahaha!

What in the fuck? As my eyes fluttered and I rolled over to the edge of the bed. Plunking my feet on the ground, I grab my robe and head out to the war I can hear happening.

What do I fucking find? My youngest, playing battle of the guys, what the fuck, it’s 4:30 in the morning!

But I am not tired. I want to play. Can I have a snack? I am hungry.

Are you fucking kidding me? No it’s not time to play, grab a snack and get your ass in bed! Go to sleep for the love of all sanity! Or at least my fucking sanity!

Marched him upstairs, grabbed a snack, put him in bed. Then you know how it goes, you climb back in bed, laying there sort of awake and sort of asleep but neither really fucking happens.

6:45 rolls around, hubby’s alarm goes off, ugh, get out of bed again, haven’t even made it to the coffee maker yet and the fucking cat pukes all over the floor. Fuck me!

Of course dogs are nasty shit and love to eat it, so trying to keep dog away from the vomit pile while getting the paper towel and cleaner was fun. Walk backwards, point finger, repeat no. Ugh! Clean it up, dog sniffs around looking for morsels of vomit, nasty creatures.

Someone bring me some fucking coffee extra espresso shots, PLEASE. It is going to be a long what the fuck Wednesday!

Marketing Monday!

Being an Indie Author is fucking hard work, we all put every bit of us into doing what we can. We are shameless, it’s fucking exhausting.

Therefore, you need to take advantage of things when you can. I came across a wonderful tweet the other day from Keisha Jones with Hunny Goddess Media who was looking for some Indie books to read on her story time platforms. She has done two sections of my book for free. Yes, free, which is fucking fabulous.

She offers to read a teaser of your work to help expand the audience and interest. If you’re looking for some support you can get in touch with her at hunnygoddessradio@gmail.com or http://www.eclecticallybalanced.com

She is a lovely person. While you’re at it you can check out what she has read of mine here and here.

Hope some of you find this useful and get in touch with this amazing lady. We all need to support each other however we can.

Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

Here we are, Mother’s Day is coming and you want something extra fucking special! Well why not give her the gift of knowing she is not alone struggling to raise kids. So You’re Not Supermom….It’s OK! Rants of a foul mouthed mom is a fabulous little read to do just that.

Today’s excerpt is from Volume 2 on pre-order now, releases May 16th. Each Volume is only 99 cents on kindle. Cheaper than those flowers and cards your think might be good.

Are those clothes clean?
Laundry, a war nobody can ever fucking win when they have children.
You might get to the bottom of the pile but the second you turn your back?
BAM!
It’s right back up there, like you didn’t just wash ten fucking loads of the shit!
The most important question to ask about the clothing your kid wears?
Are they clean?
Yes, you want to make sure that the shit you are putting on or using is in fact clean.
My house is absolutely fucking famous for mixing the freshly washed laundry with the nasty shit they just rolled around in all day!
But when you find something clean well it might not actually be fucking clean!
Just the other day I took a clean towel out of the laundry, it looked fresh and smelled fresh.
Yes, I smell the clean laundry!
I have animals and kids!
I need to make sure that shit is clean!
Anyway, I took it out, had my shower and as I was drying off with it, I could see spots of glitter on parts of my body.
No choice now but to finish drying with it.
I’ll be damned if by the end of it, I didn’t look like a fucking unicorn who doused themselves in fairy dust!
That shit was head to toe on me and I sparkled in the sun!
It was ridiculous!
I’m pretty sure it was washed with something of my daughter’s.
You know one of those super cute outfits that sparkle and look all girlie?
Yah, one of those fucking things!
Anytime you reach into those nice clean clothes just make sure they are clean!
It might be glitter filled, dirt filled or food filled, you just never know what you’re going to get.
Don’t stress though just throw it into the dirty pile you tried washing earlier!
Then reach in and grab something else!
Just keep on going until you find something actually clean.
Why?
Because you can’t and won’t win against laundry.
It will always get mixed up!
It will never fucking end!
As long as you and them go out smelling and looking clean in what you have on, then you have won that battle!
That’s all you needed to do!
Just win that moments battle!
Because the war on laundry can’t be won.

Words of Wisdom
Even if it looks or
smells clean
Does not mean it is

If you made it the end of this thank you!

Get Volume 1 here

Get Volume 2 here

As well a go fund me is raising funds for my dear friend, please share any all support here

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