It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

I don’t think this hump day should really fucking count as with the long weekend it should be a Tuesday but the calendar states it’s Wednesday and what the fuck as it starts like one.

If it starts like one then it must be one.

Five thirty am, what the fuck am I doing up so early? Well as I uncomfortably attempted to dream sweet ass dreams in bed between the husband and nine year old (yes i fucking know he should be sleeping on his own, however, he refuses to sleep without me right now and my ass is too fucking old for the worlds worst couch) all I hear is……

“Gggrrrrr, woof, woof, bark, whimper, bark, woof, woof” fucking dogs. I love them but ugh!

Roll my ass out of bed, look out the windows, there was nothing, absofuckinlutely nothing. Fuck sakes.

Well I’m up, might as well take them out and press brew on the coffee machine. Going to need that shit today.

Alright, hanging around, chilling, enjoying caffeine, mmmmmmmmm caffeine. And……

“Vvvrrrrooommmmm, whhhaaaappppp!” “Bark, bark, woof, woof, whimper, dogs are running around like fucking idiots again!

What the fuck???

Ahhhhh yes, the oldest three children have arrived back from their dads for school. My oldest son has the loudest fucking truck ever and at his age of seventeen loves to fucking rev it up. I am sure my neighbors want to strangle him as much as I do when he does it at six thirty in the fucking morning!

Daughter comes in, ugh! Oh gawd, never a good sign when she starts that way. What’s wrong? I don’t think I really wanted to know, it’s too fucking early but had to ask so she knows I care. “I have to do pictures today, I hate pictures and they might make us wear our masks in them” What the fuck would be the point of that shit? She didn’t know either, so if anyone has the answer to that please enlighten me.

I head outside to the step for a smoke, go to sit down and the oldest is walking up. Now there is three fucking steps to get to the door. He takes one step up, gets to the second, lifts his leg and rips ass!!! Like fucking loud n nasty, even outside you could smell it. “Morning mom” well good fucking stinky morning to you too son. He continues inside.

Second oldest boy comes walking up. “Morning mom” takes step one, gets to step two, just as I’m about sit on step one, he lifts his leg and you fucking guessed it, rips ass too!!!! “What the fuck? You’re brother just did that too, for real” “hehehehe, really?” And he continues inside. At least his was only loud and not smelly. For real though, fucking boys!

Every time they are with their dad they come back gaseous and taking dumps that clog the toilets. Next I’ll be plunging the fucking shit, literally.

When I came back in I asked what they had last night, which was little cesars pizza, better known to me as colon cleanser, the pizza is not gross, it’s just super fucking greasy and the shit will slide right out you the next day!

What the fuck Wednesday, I have not been up two hours yet, the younger ones are still asleep and so far you have disturbed my shitty sleep that I still needed, made teenage girl miserable, better watch I don’t piss her off more and fucking crop dusted me twice by nasty teenage boys!

Boy oh boy, I can’t wait for the rest of today to get going! How’s your what the fuck Wednesday?

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

I don’t think this hump day should really fucking count as with the long weekend it should be a Tuesday but the calendar states it’s Wednesday and what the fuck as it starts like one.

If it starts like one then it must be one.

Five thirty am, what the fuck am I doing up so early? Well as I uncomfortably attempted to dream sweet ass dreams in bed between the husband and nine year old (yes i fucking know he should be sleeping on his own, however, he refuses to sleep without me right now and my ass is too fucking old for the worlds worst couch) all I hear is……

“Gggrrrrr, woof, woof, bark, whimper, bark, woof, woof” fucking dogs. I love them but ugh!

Roll my ass out of bed, look out the windows, there was nothing, absofuckinlutely nothing. Fuck sakes.

Well I’m up, might as well take them out and press brew on the coffee machine. Going to need that shit today.

Alright, hanging around, chilling, enjoying caffeine, mmmmmmmmm caffeine. And……

“Vvvrrrrooommmmm, whhhaaaappppp!” “Bark, bark, woof, woof, whimper, dogs are running around like fucking idiots again!

What the fuck???

Ahhhhh yes, the oldest three children have arrived back from their dads for school. My oldest son has the loudest fucking truck ever and at his age of seventeen loves to fucking rev it up. I am sure my neighbors want to strangle him as much as I do when he does it at six thirty in the fucking morning!

Daughter comes in, ugh! Oh gawd, never a good sign when she starts that way. What’s wrong? I don’t think I really wanted to know, it’s too fucking early but had to ask so she knows I care. “I have to do pictures today, I hate pictures and they might make us wear our masks in them” What the fuck would be the point of that shit? She didn’t know either, so if anyone has the answer to that please enlighten me.

I head outside to the step for a smoke, go to sit down and the oldest is walking up. Now there is three fucking steps to get to the door. He takes one step up, gets to the second, lifts his leg and rips ass!!! Like fucking loud n nasty, even outside you could smell it. “Morning mom” well good fucking stinky morning to you too son. He continues inside.

Second oldest boy comes walking up. “Morning mom” takes step one, gets to step two, just as I’m about sit on step one, he lifts his leg and you fucking guessed it, rips ass too!!!! “What the fuck? You’re brother just did that too, for real” “hehehehe, really?” And he continues inside. At least his was only loud and not smelly. For real though, fucking boys!

Every time they are with their dad they come back gaseous and taking dumps that clog the toilets. Next I’ll be plunging the fucking shit, literally.

When I came back in I asked what they had last night, which was little cesars pizza, better known to me as colon cleanser, the pizza is not gross, it’s just super fucking greasy and the shit will slide right out you the next day!

What the fuck Wednesday, I have not been up two hours yet, the younger ones are still asleep and so far you have disturbed my shitty sleep that I still needed, made teenage girl miserable, better watch I don’t piss her off more and fucking crop dusted me twice by nasty teenage boys!

Boy oh boy, I can’t wait for the rest of today to get going! How’s your what the fuck Wednesday?

Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

Finally it has arrived, the day of the week I share something that I have created and shamelessly throw the shit in the faces of others. It is my favorite day by far.

This week I am going to share a chapter from my memoir I recently released. The most in depth stories of my life. The deepest, darkest secrets never told, revealed.

Please keep in mind these are my stories, my points of view and my feelings. Not everyone will agree and that’s ok.

Disclaimer Some names and identifying details of people described in this book have been altered to protect their privacy.

My memoir is not for everyone, it can trigger traumatic personal events of others lives, so please caution yourself should you choose to read it.

WORDS HURT

“I had just come back from downtown, where I was taking a mandatory course for parenting after separation. As I walked in the door, Drake was sitting there staring at me, the look one gets from their parents when they get home past the curfew.
He was sitting with our girl in his arms, she was only a couple of weeks old, and so tiny. The minute I got in the house, I could smell the Disaronno emanating from him, while the bottle sat on top next to the chair.
Not wanting to initiate anything that could put my daughter in harm’s way, I said nothing. I walked up, gave him a kiss, and asked if I could now hold her.
Reluctantly, he passed her to me without a fuss and picked up his bottle of liquor, guzzling down a few more gulps that he really did not need. After having sat and fed the baby, I head to bed with her. She always slept with me, all my kids did for the first six months or so.
He would stay downstairs and continue to consume his drinks.
I lay down next to my baby, and it would not be long until I fell asleep. I don’t know what time it was, but the way I was woken would not be expected.
My eyes sprung open; my body jolted to the end of the bed. He grabbed hold of my feet and yanked me nearly right out of bed, stopping just before my ass fell to the ground. He laughed and threw himself on the mattress; I instantly grabbed for the end of the baby blanket that my daughter was wrapped in.
Reflexes work wonders when it comes to my child being in harm’s way.
His body slammed into the mattress, just as I was scooping the baby up off it.
This would set him off even more. He jumped up and cornered us in the room, blocking the doorway exit.
As I held our daughter, my only thought was how to get out of there safely with her.
He stood there, telling me I was nothing but a road map of stretch marks on fat, and that my clitoral area would be considered a penis so I should go have a sex change like my father did, I asked him to just step aside, and let us leave.
He ranted and raved about how shitty of a person I was, how my children knew I was a whore, and that I was never going to be anything else. I stood there, I took it all, every word he had to say drilled into me that night. When he was done, he headed outside for a smoke.
I left, and I left everything. I did not grab anything the baby needed. I did not take anything I needed. I grabbed my car keys, and we left my house. It was my house—I paid the bills—and I was being run out by him.
I went to a friend’s house that night. I did not have many places to go, but I surely was not going back to where he was and I did not have the financial means for a hotel.
When I returned the next day he was still asleep upstairs in my bed. I had no sympathy for him, so I vacuumed, did the dishes, laundry, toy clean up, and I banged every cupboard in my house to ensure that the bastard suffered with his hangover.
Yet, I still took his apologies, his promises, and his sober words that he would never do anything like that again.
Sober words are just the lies of what one truly feels. Sobriety simply hides the actions that are always there. When one drinks, there is less control. Intoxication is not an impulsive behaviour. Intoxication is how we free ourselves from the chains of rational thought. Not all of us are truly rational.”

If you would like to read my full memoir it is available on kindle for $9.99 and free on kindle unlimited.

Happy Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

WOOOOOOO EEEEEEE! It is what the fuck Wednesday and hitting strong, you know those mornings when you had a really good one the day before getting kids to school and you wake up thinking fuck yeah! I got this shit down pat? Yup me too, but what the fuck hump day, I don’t like how you did me.

It started out good, really it did, I woke the boys, woke the girls, woke the oldest boys had one cup of coffee in me. I was feeling great. Until they started feeding off each other. Let me tell you they are like little parasites when this starts. One says something, then the next, then the next and before you know it……ugh!

I had the youngest one eating, the second youngest getting dressed, the others in the kitchen arguing.

And there’s me, right in the middle, turning from one side to the next to answer questions, diffuse arguments, eating reminders, get dressed, take your pills, don’t do that, do you have this?, do you have that?, where’s your crap? and it was on and fucking on for the hour before we left.

Picture being placed in the middle of the room, the room is filled with people wall to wall, everyone of them has something to say, at the same fucking time.

Brush your hair, I can’t find my brush……

Stop bugging him, hes eating, no he isnt……

Start eating you’re runnng out of time, I cant, you can you just need to do it……

Where’s your clothes, uhhh over here, get them on…….

Don’t scream, why are you screaming, leave the dogs alone……

Mom who’s taller, who cares are you ready for school……

Whos taller, no I cant find…….

I’m taller, no I am, holy fuck you’re tall, no you’re short…….

All of them together no moms short! We are all taller than her, yes that was my morning, they aren’t completely wrong I am fucking short but there is still two kids in this house shorter me as of yet. So to end this we all measured, I must say they are all pretty tall kids and it does not come from me.

Alright, get your shit on, get out the door, get in the car, three schools to distribute their ass’s and home.

Coffee, silence, breathe! Yes breathe, fuck me, it is only day two of this, maybe tomorrow I will win this shit.

What the fuck Wednesday, it is not even ten in the morning and I am ready for bed.

How has your mornings been going? It’s ok if it sucks, you got this shit, one day at a time!

Featured @….

Girl Tell Me Dot Com has graciously featured my short story today!

EEEEEEEEKKKKK! Yes I am squealing like a crazy little school girl at a fucking high school dance when the cutest boy comes to you!

That’s right, it’s how I fucking role 🤣🤣

It is a free read give it a whirl.

Unlikely Connection

https://www.girltellme.com/post/unlikely-connection

Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

I am beyond excited to again share a portion of a submission and author bio I received for my non-profit LGBTQ+ Anthology project.

JULIA STRANGE a wife and mother of two, obtained a background in New Media Design and Photography. Julia learned growing up in a small town in Alberta that we all come from the depths of some hell; crawling out is what we make it. Her journey from youth to adulthood changed her ideas of who she was, who she wanted to be and even what she needed.

Her piece entitled “Finding Strange, A Journey Of Love” is sad, beautiful, loving, and hopeful. It is about, loss, finding oneself, becoming comfortable with who you are and ultimately being willing to show who you are when you’re ready and in love.

An exert from “Finding Strange, A Journey Of Love”……..by Julia Strange.

“It was not until years later that I started to pick myself up again. I tried to date men, but a male companion type relationship was not what I was seeking. I kept getting myself into the circles of abusive relationships. It was a few years later I vowed to look after me, get back on my feet, focus on me. I did not plan to meet anybody when she walked into my life.
Her sandy blonde hair, those eyes you could get lost in, and a smile and laugh that made my heart sing. I found it funny how I met this angel. I started to talk to a guy I met out at coffee, a few weeks later he took me to a party. Yeah, I thought he was trying to pick me up, come on who wouldn’t he was good looking but I was not into finding a new guy. I broke the news to him, yep, friend zone, sorry dude. He quickly told it was not him that was interested in me; it was his friend, Cindy. Well, shit, that explained to me why she was always around.
It did not shock me at all just made me nervous as I had always hid how I felt about women. Growing up, my parents always told me it should be man and woman, not women and women, nor a man with man. It was a sin, wrong, disgusting. It was still very unacceptable in the public eyes. I knew many same-sex couples while growing up away from home, and every one of them hid the fact they were together. 
Cindy was incredibly open, and I loved that about her. I was at the stage of my life that I said, “fuck people’s opinions,” they do not like something about me it is their downfall. Even though I felt this way, I could not act on it. Still, to this day, I shy away from situations where people can judge me.
She asked me to be her partner, and I jumped at it. A week into the relationship, I was like, “what the fuck did I do?” It was not the relationship……”

Want to find out how this story finishes? The anthology comes out in March 2021. Submissions are open and ongoing until November 2020.

We all have a story to tell, our own story, in our own words. I would love for you take part in this beautiful non-profit project.

Visit my submissions page for information about how to submit. If you have any questions or concerns please feel free to contact me.

Much love to all ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

It’s Fuck It Friday!

Come aboard the train where you can say fuck it to anything and everything you want. There’s no judgement here none of us give a fuck either!

This week I had to take my kids school shopping, on a good day I fucking hate shopping, I have now been to a store more times in a week than I do regularly in a month. Combined almost three grand later they are ready. The problem is they couldn’t fucking try anything on. So some items didn’t fit, my thought? Fuck it! They have more than enough now to last a while whatever didn’t fit will be given to their friends or they can buy more when at the malls with friends. I am not going shopping again any time soon.

I have now officially hand cut, hand sewed about thirty-five or so masks for their return to school. If I divide that by seven that’s five each. Hopefully my math is right, I fucking suck at math. If I have faith that they can keep one without losing it for a whole fucking week. That’s a month supply per kid. Do I continue to slave away sewing them? Fuck it, today I will break from it and label shit for their return.

There is laundry, dishes, cleaning and cooking to do still today, well everyday fucking day actually but since I have been doing so much all week already and it’s Friday, ohhhhhh you guessed it, fuck it. That shit can wait, it will still be there tomorrow as there’s no little fairies who’s going to come do it.

This is the last weekend before school begins. I honestly thought somedays I would never fucking see this again but it’s here and this mama is excited and nervous. My kids need the social, structure and help aspect for education. This mama is no teacher, I bombed that fucking endeavor early into covid. Fuck it, I will not be so hard on myself about it, I tried, they passed. That’s all I could have hoped for.

It’s only seven in the morning and my fuck it list is on a roll. Man I fucking love fuck it Friday. Feels so good.

Come say fuck it! You won’t regret it. Shit you might even enjoy it. Drop your fuck it list on any of my socials and here, it’s good to cleanse the soul.

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Another week come and gone. Another fucking mid week hump day begins. Man time is just fucking flying by!

So much so this mama didn’t fucking realize school starts this coming Tuesday fuuuccckkk!

I have been hard at work making fabric masks since yesterday which is actually way harder than I thought it would be. I am getting it though. They may not be perfect but my kids are just going to lose the fucking things anyway after maybe one or two uses so whatever. I am not about to spend ten bucks a piece on something I can fucking do myself.

My oldest son – who is now 17 – when I asked if he was in need of a couple said no.

The little shit thinks he can get away without them at school. Man is he sorely mistaken and our conversation brought up one of the most what the fuck moments ever in my life!

Me: You will end up being sent home if you don’t wear them.

Son: Yay, a free vacation.

Me: Don’t you fucking dare this is your last year of school, get it done!

Son: Thank gawd, I know, I will.

Me: I am so sad about this, where has the years gone.

Son: To raising me for 17 years, hey did you know I am the age now you were when you had me?

Me: What The Fuck!!!

He was not completely accurate on the age I was 18 when I got pregnant with him and five weeks after I turned 19 had him but he was close enough. When I had him people told me I should put him up for adoption, give him away or should never have had him as I was too young.

Now, for real my oldest boy is almost at the age of when I began having kids. He is about to graduate, to become an adult and he is an amazing fucking kid!

How the fuck did this happen? When did this fucking happen? I am very saddened as well as in awe of this pointed out fucking revelation.

This what the fuck Wednesday is going to be sewing and figuring out the answers and probably crying. Yup crying, this mama is going to mourn the fact he is nearing leaving.

Have your kids pointed out anything recently? Leave a comment with it if they have made you what the fuck life!

Happy What The Fuck Wednesday! Bring on the rest of the day!

Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

My most favorite day of the week! This week I am promoting my memoir which is up for pre-sale and releases September 1, 2020.

This memoir took me two years to process and write. It is the depths of my life, the abuse, the betrayal and most important the forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not about the ones who wronged you, they most likely will never apologize or reconcile with you in any way at all. It is about you, inner peace and moving passed all the shit that haunts you.

It is better to release it and move forward than to house it within eating away at your soul.

Let your light lift from the darkness, shine witbout boarders and live!

There is major triggers inside this book, but this is my story and I have wrote it the way I needed to for me.

Maybe it will help someone, maybe it will allow them to know they too can move on, maybe just maybe it will allow another person to tell theirs, to heal, to thrive within themselves no matter what.

All The Wrong Love A Memoir: Abuse Betrayal Forgiveness can be found on Amazon Kindle and Kindle Unlimited.

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

For real what the fuck? How is it Wednesday already? Where the fuck has the time gone?

Days just keep on coming and going like nothing. Well most of them anyway. Some of them at like horrid little nightmares that just never seem to end lol.

The youngest with his many, many f-bombs yesterday was one of those days where I ask myself is it fucking over yet? He dropped way more than I ever use. I know hard to believe but when he gets annoyed with his siblings there is no fucking stopping him.

The house is quiet still, there’s no kids awake. Something is disturbingly wrong I tell you. There’s nobody up annoying me, making noise, yelling, screaming, fighting or crying. Hmmm what the fuck is going on?

The nine year old boy is tossing on the couch, cuddling a pillow again though, since his time wanting to sleep with me I find him there every morning. Poor boy needs a break, he’s having a rough go lately.

Now although my days have been fairly decent since being home, my nights have been filled with dreams of horrible situations. So even on nights the kids sleep, I do not lately, there’s no winning. So coffee it is!

My girlfriend gave me a sample of Thrive, it’s a patch you wear with vitamins n shit but as a person sensitive to new things I have yet to try it. Maybe I’ll give that shit a go!

Oh what the fuck Wednesday, your inconsistent antics have got me slightly on edge for what’s to come. Can’t wait to see how the day plays out when the shitheads open their eyes!

Have a happy hump day, may it be less what the fuck for all.

%d bloggers like this: