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Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

Yes! Saturday! Shamelessly throwing my shit in your face haha. It is not like I don’t do this daily anyway but in the writing community it is the day we do it without anyone bitching about it really.

So here is my crap: you know you want it, it is fanfuckintastic crap!

My paperback order just arrived, exciting, I know. I have both volumes in stock. $15 CAD each with shipping in Canada, $20 CAD each with shipping in USA. You want them signed? sure I won’t even charge you. I think it is bullshit some people charge extra for this but that is just my opinion. I will even throw in a bookmark or 2 just in case the kids decide to do something stupid while you’re in the middle of reading it. Trust they probably will.

Wine tumblers in stock, drink that water, juice, alcohol whatever fancies you with a sweet little bit of my words of wisdom. $30 CAD each or 2 for $58 CAD. shipping is about $20 CAD per cup, I know I am sorry but I cannot control the fucking postal expenses. They suck!

Coffee mugs in stock, want that morning pick me up saying so you can feel better about the kids running around being assholes? I got yeah covered. These are honest little words of wisdom if you have kids you know they are no lie! $20 CAD each or 2 for $38 CAD. Again shipping is $20 CAD per, I get it that seems like a rip off and I agree but they are worth it.

If you made it through reading all that shit I threw at you, I thank you. Now one last thing.

I have a call for submissions for an LGBTQ+ anthology, this project is very dear to me. It is non-profit. I am investing my own money and proceeds will be donated. Please share my submissions, tell friends, family and colleagues. I only need 20 people to participate by the end of November.

Happy shamelessly self promoting all.

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Shameless Self Promo Saturday

This is going to be the most fucking epic shameless self promo Saturday EVER!

CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS IS LIVE! yes I am putting together a non-profit LGBTQ+ anthology. Go get the details from the submissions page! or click submissions. This is a project I am very excited and proud to be putting in place finally. It took me along time to figure out how to memorialize my father.

PAPERBACKS ON THE WAY! Finally, these beauties have left Amazon in print. I am extremely proud of my So You’re Not Supermom Series, I think they are fabulous but I am biased so find out for yourself. They are $15.00 CAD per book with shipping in Canada and $20.00 CAD per book with shipping in USA. You can also purchase ebooks for $0.99 on Amazon, Google Play Books, and Smashwords.

MUGS, BOOKMARKS & SHIT! My shop is open, I still have some inventory and the wine tumblers should be ready in a couple days. Unfortunately, shipping costs are slightly ridiculous for items and I have no control over that. Trust me I wish I did. But if you reside local to me I will deliver items.

ALL THE WRONG LOVE: Abuse, Betrayal, Forgiveness. This is my memoir, two years in the making and it is so close to being done I can feel the closure and healing. The story I share for my anthology project is a portion of this book. It looks into the depths of my life that stood hidden for a very long time.

That is it, told you it was epic. I am truly very lucky to have come as far as I have in my writing career. I can not wait to continue the growth. Especially sharing own voices from a beautiful community.

Happy Shameless Self Promo all.

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🍃🌻Sunshine Blogger Award🌻🍃

A very massive foul mouthed shout out to the most fucking amazing blogging supporter this bitch has. Ms Catarina at Beauty Of Cafe 205. Girl you fucking rock and I truly thank you for thinking of my random shit! You have been such a great follower to have in my life and please do not ever change! You are such a fucking joy with your comments.

The Sunshine Blogger Award is given to bloggers who inspire Positiveness and Creativity in the blogging community.

The Rules Are:

1. Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link to their blog.

2. List the rules.

3. Display the Sunshine Blogger Award Logo in your blog post.

4. Answer all 11 Questions asked of you by the blogger.

5. Nominate up to 11 New Bloggers to receive the Award and notify them.

6. Create 11 New Questions for your nominees.

Beauty of Cafe 205 Questions For Me

What was the one thing you disliked about quarantine? Has got to be wearing a mask at work all day every day especially since I fucking love my coffee and do not chew gum. This leave a very nasty coffee breath and nobody wants to smell that shit.

Taking trips after quarantine? Fuck I hope so, this mama needs a vacation after trying to home school seven kids, which I completely failed at. Can’t win them all.

Are you quitting your job? Shit I wish I could afford to.

Are you still going to do what you had planned before all this? Well, I really did not have anything planned except camping and that is opening back up, sort of, nature is my home, someone fucking take me home please!

Plain dark coffee or cappuccino? Does a cappuccino have sugar? Can’t handle sweet ass coffee if it does.

What did you like about being at home with your loved ones? Being able to nap, nothing like a good midday sleep to perk my ass up.

What was the funniest movie you watched on Netflix? I do think I even turned that crap on in months.

Why did you start blogging? So I can rant shit that pisses me off as a working parent with the hope other parents can feel not so alone in the struggles.

When did you start blogging? Some time around 2 months ago, I think, maybe, fuck pregnancy brain never goes away.

Favorite quarantine dish you made? Every dish that came from an app on my phone and randomly showed up in front of my door, I probably took too many days off not cooking a damn thing.

Leave a link of your favorite blog post from your blog Shameless Self Promo Book 2 Preview

My Nominees CHERRYWRITES THEBOOKMUSTER SECONDTIMEAROUNDHOMESTEAD ELOISASNOTSOSECRETDIARY TOKENART HANGINGWITHAMANDA THEBOOKFLING ALLINTHISMOMENT LUREVIEWSBOOKS RACHTALKSBUSINESS TESSABARRIE

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It’s Fuck It Friday!

I survived, fuck it has been a week for sure! See what I did there? lol Another week coming to a close with a couple days off after today. Another Friday to say fuck it to all the things I still did not accomplish and just revel in the fact that I made it.

I even get to say fuck it to working all day today as I have an appointment that is allowing me to leave at noon. I am excited for that shit . Can you tell?

My daughter is up at six am, apparently has not slept all night playing on her electronics and my fuck it mode said if you are awake to bug me the least you can do is make me a coffee. She gladly did and it is a pretty fucking tasty coffee. She literally just asked for chocolate cookies, fuck it! go ahead, you made me coffee.

As I am going to be off early today, there will be a fuck it I am taking a nap too! I miss my naps, that was always the best part of being off work.

Oh yes Fuck It Friday is the day you can say fuck it to the shit you have put on hold and just relax! If you need help to make a fuck it list just do it like this.

dishes=fuck it, laundry=fuck it, cleaning=fuck it, cooking=fuck it. Yes take everything on that list and add fuck it beside it. Done, you may even thank me for it, the fuck it attitude is a lot less stressful and we all need less stress in life right now.

Happy Fuck It Friday!

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It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Ahhh yes, the mid week hump has arrived and bestowed itself upon the world again. I am pretty sure this what the fuck Wednesday started on Monday this week. It has already been such a long fucking week with uphill battles from the start.

Emotions and attitude have been running high as fuck around every aspect of me and it is down right exhausting! Not just my kids, but with work, people at their work, everything! It must be something in the fucking planetary alignments screwing with shit!

I was so run down from the last two days I slept all night! Literally, I did not even get up to pee like I normally do, I heard nothing from the youngest all night, hopefully he slept and did not get into shit. I didn’t hear the dogs bark when the oldest returned last night from his friends house either. You can always tell when a parent has drained themselves to nothing as they actually sleep undisturbed.

I am now up slightly early, still feeling tired as fuck for work. Sitting in the silence of the house just dreading today after the last two days of bullshit from the world around me. I can only hope that the hump of this week allows shit to start settling down. You know like a roller coaster, it ramps up to the top and then just slides to bottom and levels the fuck out where you can finally breath. Yeah that is what I need.

I need to fucking breath, I need this ride to just chill the fuck out. So far the only good thing that has happened is my lovely shirt and beautiful note that arrived! Ellie you totally made my week, cannot wait to wear the shit out that shirt!

Happy What The Fuck Wednesday all, may your ride be ending if it has been a week!

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It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Today’s What the Fuck Wednesday must be some kind of calm before the storm. I had a great sleep. I am only up about an hour before my alarm and the the house is quiet. I mean dead fucking quiet.

This has got to be due to having no kids! That’s right absolutely no fucking kids. Alllll week.

How did I get so fucking lucky? Well sometimes being a blended family is nice, I can split them up into directions and with different people and my house falls eerily fucking silent. Let’s be honest nobody in their right mind wants seven kids at once if they didn’t make them.

It does not happen often and I actually have a horrible time dealing with it as i am not used to it.

But I do attempt to enjoy it as well. I do not have to cook, clean, yell, chase or fight any kids and have done nothing the last three days. For real I have accomplished fuck all on all levels, it is fantastic, as well as odd.

While my morning is calm, my night was rested there is still a day of work and tonight for something to happen. I am not being a downer just a realist.

Just to make my What the Fuck Wednesday even better I am going throw in the fact I now have official So You’re Not Supermom….It’s Ok! coffee mugs up for grabs. Get in touch if interested. They are $20 CAD each plus shipping which determining shipping is on my list of shit to do this week.

Happy What the Fuck Wednesday all. Have a fanfuckintastic one!

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Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

Well I did not post on fuck it Friday, it was part of my fuck it list, a very long list this week. As I was exhausted and spent the evening after work trying to get my kids to clean. Nasty little creatures they are. Gawd I love them though.

A new day and another Saturday to bring on the sweet ass promoting though.

With two books out now of So You’re Not Supermom….It’s Ok! I am not sure which one to put a bit of for today but i did receive a couple more readings from hunnygoddess and you can check those here and here. If paperback is your style get in touch I have a shipment coming!

So I am going throw out something different. This will be in my upcoming memoir later this year. A look into the depths of my life. This is a much lighter section of it, there is some heavy fucking shit in this book.

“At the time I don’t believe any of us truly understood. We were all so young, under the age of about ten. The mentality and comprehension at our ages were not developed enough to realize or make such a decision.
Even today, it is a hard situation that cannot easily be understood or explained. As sat we all agreed that it would be awesome, that we were all okay with it and so the decision was made.
My father was always there for us. He started his journey transitioning into a female. He would still raise us with our mom and life would continue as per usual. At least that was the lie we were told and thought, but it didn’t end that way.
Not long down the life path we moved to a small trailer next to my first school and, of all things, a fucking taxidermy. It was traumatizing.
My room stood to the back of the trailer and out the window the only view was piles of bones. They were stacked against the side of the taxidermy building next door and strewn through the small patch of grass between us. Some of them still fresh enough to have slight remains of flesh and meat, while others had been there for so long they were breaking and decaying. If you want to give a kid nightmares, you’d live there.
Living here had its ups and downs for all of us. Our school was right next door, and that was nice. Things seemed good. Nobody knew us, nobody knew of the transition yet, and we continued on with life.
Until that one day, I still sit here wondering what the fuck it was about. I can only speculate that it had something to do with my dad’s choice to transition. In the nineties, such things didn’t happen in the public eye. Nobody made it known, and you definitely did not do it in a small hick town where all things new and unknown were rejected.”

An excerpt from All The Wrong Love. Abuse Betrayal Forgiveness A Memoir.

Happy Shameless Self Promo Saturday! Show me what you got and drop a comment below with yours!

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It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!!

Honestly, when I went to bed last night I thought this Wednesday would be different. You know since it is only technically a fucking Tuesday for the work week as it was a long weekend. But I was wrong! So very fucking wrong.

Now I still to this what the fuck Wednesday have not figured out why this is the day of the week that is always ridiculously fucking stupid. I have tried it all to not have it happen but fuck me, it always finds a way to be shit!

So here we go my what the fuck Wednesday morning in a nutshell.

It all began on my middle of night pee. 2 AM today, again as I rise from the depth of a decent sleep after having gone to bed early, I make my way upstairs. Ah silence! That is until the youngest yet again calls into the depths of the dark of the hallway from his bedroom.

Heeellooooooo! Who’s there? Mom? Mom?

That little shit knows it’s me I am the only one who gets up at any point throughout the night besides him.

As he exits his room, I hear it, mom I’m hungry. Well of course he is! He’s awake and refused to eat at dinner time which is not unusual and he ate around 9 PM before bed due to his ADHD medications.

Ugh, get a snack and go back to bed already! Well if he didn’t bring me a cold peach tea from the fridge.

Can I have this? Fuck NO! You can not. A: that is not food and B: it has enough caffiene in it to keep you up for days! Food! pick something that requires chewing!

So, he decides on macaroni salad, now he takes forever to eat, like one fucking noodle at a time forever. As I waited for him to finish to get him back to bed, being a woman kicks in. Shoot me now, I swear the older I get the worse it is!

Alright, back in bed, curled up in a fetal position, trying to sleep took a couple hours, alarm goes off, fuck!!!!

Get up do my usual, coffee, meditation, get dressed, pack for work, where the fuck did my keys go?

Yay, seek the keys! What the hell did the 15 year old do with them? He surely didn’t hang them on the key rack where they fucking belong because you know, why the fuck would he do that?

Twenty minutes later after emptying the entire purse, which I should probably clean out, there’s a lot of shit in there, I find them! Ugh off to work, tired, crampy and miserable.

What the Fuck Wednesday? Why do you have to be such a bitch every week?

I give up. I am just going to go with the WTF flow.

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Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

Oh, yes, another day to fill my feeds with the crap I have published. Today I get to fill it with two sets. Yes, there is officially two books of the shit I spew out now. I know what you might be thinking, how is it possible to have that much? Well seven kids is how.

The good part is, if you enjoyed the first set of shit then you will enjoy the second because it is literally the same just new ones.

You do not have to have kids, be a mom or a woman at all, men count too you know and as the reviews from all types say it is at the very least a good fucking laugh.

So need a laugh? Then buy the fucking books lol. $0.99 each, you can get both cheaper than a cup of coffee and they are great to read with coffee. Mmmmmmm coffee, I am off to make myself some.

Book 1: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CG5JCPY

Book 2: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0871TJW55

Feel free to drop your self promo links in the comments. Happy promoting!

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It’s Fuck It Friday!

This one is brought to you by the letter S. The word of the day is Sleepless. Yes sleepless as it has been a sleepless fucking night.

Youngest boy refused to sleep last night, up, down, hungry, playing, drinks, bathroom, you fucking name it he had it all covered. To this moment he still has not passed out, I wish I had half his fucking energy. I figured for sure he would be in lala land by now, but nope, his ADHD is strong and going hard since yesterday. I even tried melatonin which usually does the trick except last night.

So fuck it Friday is equal to absolutely nothing getting done and naps!

Oh there will be naps today outside of that my demeanor truly is fuck it!

I have both clean and dirty laundry piled but fuck it. Dishes that require to be unloaded and loaded into the dishwasher but fuck it. Bathrooms that need to be cleaned but fuck it. Meals that need to be cooked tonight but fuck it.

It’s a long weekend and all that shit can wait and food can be ordered, thank god that is still available to me. This mama is on a fuck it Friday roll and I have no shame in it after a long week of work, kids and cooking.

What are you going to say fuck it to on this lovely, long weekend Friday?

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It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Good fucking morning! It is that wonderful time of the week. You know how I know?

Well, middle of the night last night I woke up to use the bathroom. Really that happens every night, my bladder is not the same after being used as a fucking punching bag through six pregnancies but as I was up I thought all were asleep.

The house was quiet, went to take dogs out and I begin to hear, hellooo, hellooooo, who’s there? The youngest fucking wide awake doing an eerily creepy call into the dark abyss of the house.

Now, I figured if I ignored him he would go back to bed. So I take the dogs out. Turn around in the dark to see his face up against the screen door looking out. Not going to lie, slight fucking heart attack there from the little shit.

Moooom, he whispers, I’m hungry. For fuck sake it’s 1 AM get a snack and go to bed. He gets a snack, goes to bed. Okay, good to go back to bed. Nope.

He then decides to come and make it known he needs a shirt. For real he had a fucking shirt on while asking. There was nothing wrong with it, he just did not want to sleep. Like fuck, I was not about to rummage through laundry it was nearly 1:30 AM now. Finally, I convinced him to go back to bed and went myself.

I hate the half awake, half asleep state it’s bullshit. Next thing I know I am wide awake early! Before my fucking alarm for work! I mean, I love seeing a good sunrise but not when sleep eluded me and I am now back to work.

Now this mama is off to work with bloodshot sleepless eyes and not enough caffeine in the fucking world.

How’s your what the fuck Wednesday?

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It’s A Fuck It Friday Giveaway!

Well the week has ended and Mother’s Day is just around the corner. So this fuck it Friday I have decided fuck it, I want to make some other mama’s happy and give them a good laugh at shit. In order to do that I am hosting 3 giveaways for book 1.

Just so you know you don’t #struggle alone in #parenting.

I will choose 5 mama’s

The price of a card!

I am doing it on instagram @ JNSUPERMOM & Twitter @jess38049045 & Facebook @ https://www.facebook.com/jnsupermom/ for more chances…you can click the page names to go directly to them. Go like, share, or comment on the giveaway post to be entered. I will pick 5 from each platform giving more chances. I will draw names tomorrow night May 9 2020 around 6pm mountain time!

Just say Fuck it and enter you have nothing to lose but a chance to win.

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It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Oh for fuck sake! It’s Wednesday and it started early today. I mean like 4:30 AM fucking early.

Oh what a peaceful sleep it started out to be, until my ears started listening to the world around me. Hate when they do that shit!

Pew pew, take that. Nooooooo! Ahhhhhh! You can’t win. Raaahhhhh clash, smack, boom. You’re dead. Hahahahahaha!

What in the fuck? As my eyes fluttered and I rolled over to the edge of the bed. Plunking my feet on the ground, I grab my robe and head out to the war I can hear happening.

What do I fucking find? My youngest, playing battle of the guys, what the fuck, it’s 4:30 in the morning!

But I am not tired. I want to play. Can I have a snack? I am hungry.

Are you fucking kidding me? No it’s not time to play, grab a snack and get your ass in bed! Go to sleep for the love of all sanity! Or at least my fucking sanity!

Marched him upstairs, grabbed a snack, put him in bed. Then you know how it goes, you climb back in bed, laying there sort of awake and sort of asleep but neither really fucking happens.

6:45 rolls around, hubby’s alarm goes off, ugh, get out of bed again, haven’t even made it to the coffee maker yet and the fucking cat pukes all over the floor. Fuck me!

Of course dogs are nasty shit and love to eat it, so trying to keep dog away from the vomit pile while getting the paper towel and cleaner was fun. Walk backwards, point finger, repeat no. Ugh! Clean it up, dog sniffs around looking for morsels of vomit, nasty creatures.

Someone bring me some fucking coffee extra espresso shots, PLEASE. It is going to be a long what the fuck Wednesday!

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Marketing Monday!

Being an Indie Author is fucking hard work, we all put every bit of us into doing what we can. We are shameless, it’s fucking exhausting.

Therefore, you need to take advantage of things when you can. I came across a wonderful tweet the other day from Keisha Jones with Hunny Goddess Media who was looking for some Indie books to read on her story time platforms. She has done two sections of my book for free. Yes, free, which is fucking fabulous.

She offers to read a teaser of your work to help expand the audience and interest. If you’re looking for some support you can get in touch with her at hunnygoddessradio@gmail.com or http://www.eclecticallybalanced.com

She is a lovely person. While you’re at it you can check out what she has read of mine here and here.

Hope some of you find this useful and get in touch with this amazing lady. We all need to support each other however we can.

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Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

Here we are, Mother’s Day is coming and you want something extra fucking special! Well why not give her the gift of knowing she is not alone struggling to raise kids. So You’re Not Supermom….It’s OK! Rants of a foul mouthed mom is a fabulous little read to do just that.

Today’s excerpt is from Volume 2 on pre-order now, releases May 16th. Each Volume is only 99 cents on kindle. Cheaper than those flowers and cards your think might be good.

Are those clothes clean?
Laundry, a war nobody can ever fucking win when they have children.
You might get to the bottom of the pile but the second you turn your back?
BAM!
It’s right back up there, like you didn’t just wash ten fucking loads of the shit!
The most important question to ask about the clothing your kid wears?
Are they clean?
Yes, you want to make sure that the shit you are putting on or using is in fact clean.
My house is absolutely fucking famous for mixing the freshly washed laundry with the nasty shit they just rolled around in all day!
But when you find something clean well it might not actually be fucking clean!
Just the other day I took a clean towel out of the laundry, it looked fresh and smelled fresh.
Yes, I smell the clean laundry!
I have animals and kids!
I need to make sure that shit is clean!
Anyway, I took it out, had my shower and as I was drying off with it, I could see spots of glitter on parts of my body.
No choice now but to finish drying with it.
I’ll be damned if by the end of it, I didn’t look like a fucking unicorn who doused themselves in fairy dust!
That shit was head to toe on me and I sparkled in the sun!
It was ridiculous!
I’m pretty sure it was washed with something of my daughter’s.
You know one of those super cute outfits that sparkle and look all girlie?
Yah, one of those fucking things!
Anytime you reach into those nice clean clothes just make sure they are clean!
It might be glitter filled, dirt filled or food filled, you just never know what you’re going to get.
Don’t stress though just throw it into the dirty pile you tried washing earlier!
Then reach in and grab something else!
Just keep on going until you find something actually clean.
Why?
Because you can’t and won’t win against laundry.
It will always get mixed up!
It will never fucking end!
As long as you and them go out smelling and looking clean in what you have on, then you have won that battle!
That’s all you needed to do!
Just win that moments battle!
Because the war on laundry can’t be won.

Words of Wisdom
Even if it looks or
smells clean
Does not mean it is

If you made it the end of this thank you!

Get Volume 1 here

Get Volume 2 here

As well a go fund me is raising funds for my dear friend, please share any all support here

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Friday Friendship!

Okay lovely people of the world. I would ordinarily do Fuck It Friday but today is different.

As I mentioned a few days ago in memory monday post a very dear friend of mine had to do the most heartbreaking fucking news to her babies. Their father passed away suddenly at work of a heart attack.

Now she is left to raise 3 kids (15,13,10) on her own and assume all the financial costs for funeral, and whatever else comes her way.

I know the world is a shit place right now and things are fucking falling apart for so many. All I am asking is that you at least share this for me. Please I am fucking begging you. She is the most wonderful amazing person and without her I would not be where I am today.

This woman does so much, she needs a hand up. Thank you to any who share, donate, send messages whatever.

You can view the go fund me page here.

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It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

This mornings what the fuck Wednesday is brought to you by, interruption! Ah yes, they love to just come and mess around. At least today it was a good laugh!

I get up early, like five or six in the morning early, I like my fucking coffee with silence and meditation. I do this purposely as my kids are lazy little shits and typically sleep in since there is no school. Of course it did not happen this morning because it is fucking Wednesday!

Smack dab in the middle of meditation the eleven year old wakes, of course, why not? She can’t control when she gets up but she could control bugging me. She just fucking chooses not to. So there I am coffee in hand, trying to do my meditation in peace and she starts talking. As if I can hear a fucking thing, I throw my hands up at her to say so.

All of a sudden she starts acting out ques for charades, okay, this is can do lol. So as she goes along, arms up, arms down, shake yes, shake no, I can not help but start laughing. She gives me the snobby ass preteen look and heads to the kitchen counter. What the fuck for is funnier than shit!

As I watch her, she begins reading the labels of the cleaners I left there. Scoops one up, reads another, scoops that one up and by the time she is ready to head back to me her arms are full. I mean she had like four fucking products, I couldn’t help but giggle!

Walking back to the couch, her arms full, I pause my music and snap photos, yes I am that mom!. She starts setting them down, she begins pointing out certain letters on each, well fuck me! I was laughing so hard at how she went about this there was snorts, tears and fucking laughter for a good ten minutes.

Then I realize three things, first off I should teach her some word scramble she could’ve just used one product bottle, second that girl really needs to work on her spelling and third I need my kids back in school so that I don’t have to teach her either of those fucking things.

Once I figured out what it was, she threw herself back on the couch looking like she had just run a fucking marathon! Then pleased with herself for getting it done and me laughing so fucking hard, she went back to bed. Oh man this is gonna be a long ass year!

I can’t wait for the others to get up, I can only hope they are as entertaining on this What The Fuck Wednesday as she was.

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It’s A Monday Memory Day

Alright, this one might slap you hard in the feels, make your eyes tear or cause you to reminisce on something that really fucking sucked.

This past weekend I was reminded that life is short, too fucking short for some. My very good, loving, amazing friend had to tell her children their father passed. All I want to do is go hold her until the pain she feels subsides, to wipe her tears and just fucking be there and I can’t. It kills me, so I am going to do what I do best and share my writing.

I wrote the piece of poetry below around the nine year mark of the loss of my father. I hope that it can be related to for anyone who has suffered through such an event. It’s not fucking easy.

Dreams of those lost
are how they come back to us
As i walk among the silent grounds
Passing all the etched polished stones
I look for you left unmarked
A secret path only in my heart
The trees above shading us
I lay myself down to a rest
Seeking solice atop the grass
I have but only one thing to ask
Please come back just one more time
I miss your guidance in this life
I need you now more than ever
I want just one more day together
A single kiss and hug goodbye
An embrace only you can provide
Just once more to hear you say
I love you my angel, you’ll be okay

Tell the people you love that you fucking love them while you can. Time is not guaranteed to any of us. Make the best of it.

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Shameless Self Promo Saturday

Well it is that time people to shamelessly self promote your shit! I have decided to give you a ranting glimpse inside the wonderful bullshit of raising kids from So You’re Not Supermom…It’s OK! Rants of a foul mouthed mom Volume 1.

Let’s be honest the crap you download from the book previews online fucking suck!

Do Ends Meet?
One of the absolute hardest, most defeating parts of raising kids is making ends meet!
You rob Peter, fuck Paul because the kids need to eat.
You rob Paul, fuck Peter because the kids are sick.
You take a loan to pay a loan to get another fucking loan because the utilities are going to be disconnected.
You beg, borrow and steal in every way possible just to realize you’re fucked for another month.
You stand in line at the food bank hoping you don’t run into anyone else you know because your shame and guilt of having to be there is too much.
You stop eating most days and lie to your children that you’re not hungry to ensure they are full before you even go near what’s left on the stove.
You go to bed stressed and crying and you wake stressed and crying not knowing where you’ll find the cash.
You feel like shit while you do it because you feel like you have to.
Yes this is making ends meet in the life of raising kids.

It is all perfectly fine!
I fucking dread bills! Those bastards get paid and by the time that happens the next bastards need to be fucking paid!
Well guess what world?
MY ASS IS NOT A BANK MACHINE!
I CANNOT JUST SWIPE AND PULL!
If you have kids that all made sense and if don’t have kids yet, well it will when you do.
I’m starting to believe nobody ever gets ahead on these things, they never end, they just keep fucking coming!
The good news is since bills will always be there it’s perfectly fine to rob one for the other!
To skip that payment for what your child needs.
To rob a bill just enough to get the little buggars enough food to eat the following month.
The reason?

You put that little human being first!
You are still providing what they need when it’s needed.
You are still a great parent even though you don’t feel like it.
You made it work!
You made it another day, week or month without the kids having to starve or continue to be sick or whatever.
You can now rest easy for a bit knowing all this.
Don’t forget it was you!
You beautiful parent!

Words of Wisdom
Money can’t buy everything
It only buys wants, not needs

If you made it this far down the page feel free to shamelessly drop your Saturday Self Promo Shit! Then share it, follow, and repeat! If you found this crap as good as I do you can snag it for $0.99 here or free on kindle unlimited.

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Fuck It Friday!

Ooohhhh, it is my favorite day of the long ass week! Fuck it Friday.

The kids have been absolute gems all week, everything went perfectly, you worked, you cleaned, you cooked, oh my gawd, who the fuck am I trying to lie to? It was shit none of that really happened! But………

Wahoo! you all survived the chaos of the days before, it is Friday the sun is fucking shining, birds are chirping and the day has only begun. I am two coffees in and the kids are still in a state of slumber, man Friday is great.

So what does fuck it Friday mean? Well it means fuck it!

That’s right all those things you think you have to do fuck it.

Laundry piled up?, fuck it. Dishes need to be washed?, fuck it. Kids are trying to beat each other?, fuck it (for real, let them figure out how to deal with their own shit, we are not gonna be here forever.)

Want to binge Netflix?, fuck yeah, do it! Want to take a nap?, that is the absolute fucking best, lay your ass down, you deserve it. Want to pour that drink or crack that beer at one o’clock in the beaming sun?, shit it is always five o’clock somewhere, do it! Don’t want to cook?, no worries teach the kids, it’s about time their ass’s learn how or order in, both fantastic options on a Friday!

Today, all those are my Fuck it Friday list, I have no shame in it either! I work hard to take one day a week and say Fuck it, to everything.

What’s on the docket for your Fuck it Friday?

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Thursday’s Unpleasant Thoughts!

I just spent the last two hours listening to my mother talk about her preparation for death! How she is putting money away for this and that, the codes to access everything, the lay out of her will, and all that shit! As if she is going to fucking die any day soon. She is way too stubborn for that shit to happen.

But it got me thinking of when I found my dad passed away in his hospital bed, slumped off the edge, only feet from the nurses station and the shit that followed that dreadful fucking experience of loss. He had nothing. Nothing saved, nothing in order, nothing laid out and it was all left to us children to figure out what the fuck to do on our own.

These processes of life are less than fucking pleasant thoughts to have but in some strange way are so very necessary in ones life. Now how the fuck do you go about crap that you know must inevitably deal with but have no clue how to deal with? Well I don’t fucking know either so if anyone has any advice I would love some.

The only one thing I have ever put in place is life insurance to ensure my little shits do not have to break their banks worrying about how to cover the costs of my demise. That is it, I am not old, but over the last few years a lot of those I have grown up have been taken in untimely ways. I am also not very young anymore either, kind of just fucking stuck in the middle of life.

Maybe it is time to get my own shit together. It is bound to happen eventually, it is inevitable that we all must lay our asses to rest for good at some point.

Yup, that is Thursday’s Unpleasant Thoughts!

Maybe next week I will have something better to spew out of my fucking head. Or at least less dark and disturbing would be just great.

Then again maybe not!

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It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Ah yes, it must be fucking Wednesday! Sun isn’t shining, kids are miserable, I am only two fucking coffees in and already I would love to go curl back up into bed!

WTF Wednesday is in full swing this week! How do I know? Well within this very short time of being up, waking my youngest made him absolutely fucking miserable, not a little miserable but to the core everything is pissing him off!

I had to wake him early to ensure he got his ADHD meds today, I could not handle another day of him sleeping in and it being too late for meds to be administered where he literally climbs the fucking walls. I mean literally!

Meds in, not without a fight he went to get himself cereal, not much milk left, which is a typical thing in my house. He however, is throwing a tantrum over it. He poured way too big of a bowl and me not wanting to waste food I went to dump some back in the box. Smart idea right? I thought so too but not so fucking much, yup its now filled with milk remnants, well fuck, there goes a brand new box of cereal.

Youngest all pissed off and impatient as he loves his shit a certain way, I had to send the oldest for milk, thank god for licensed children some days! But if that kid could just close the front door without my walls shaking that would be fucking great too!

Only two kids are up so far cannot wait for the others to open their eyes (insert serious amount of sarcasm here)

Milk arrived, poured and cereal served now equals an unhappy child as he says there is too many cheerios versus the amount of corn pops he poured. Five bites later he is full. (insert my eyes rolling to the back of my head)

Yup all that chaos for five fucking bites of food!

At least he is fed and slightly less miserable at the moment.

Seriously though………

WTF Wednesday WTF!!!!!

It’s Fuck It Friday!

Fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck, look at my fucks gooooooo!!!! Do you see them? They are rip rizzling down the road as fuck it Friday begins.

The day of the week, they all get dropped onto everything, no matter what that shit is.

Although this week has been fairly calm compared to others in recent past, I am still saying fuck it to everything today! Why? Well because I can and love doing it. Also, I said fuck it to fuck it Friday last week, have to make up for that one.

This morning my dogs were assholes, barking at fucking nothing, I am not sure what their issue was. I was hoping to sleep in, but fuck it! I will make a nice cup o’ java and watch the sun rise. It is so beautiful and quiet right now I will get to enjoy the shit.

My kids have had yet another short week of school as parent teacher interviews were on the board yesterday and today. I already did mine, I’m pretty sure they weren’t speaking of my children though. It pretty much was them telling me how sweet, kind, loving and attentive they are. I call bullshit on it but in good nature I said fuck it, I will play along and thank them for thinking I’ve done a wonderful job raising respectful kids who care for others as we all know kids are very different for others than they are for us.

I have literally accomplished nothing this week. Not a single fucking thing! I feel kind of guilty about it but in reality I’ve said fuck it. There are times my body tells me just to fucking stop and chill. I listen to it! All the unimportant shit I think I have to do can wait, I need to take a fucking break.

I sold six books last night, pretty sure that’s a record for one day of sales for me. It was to people I know and for some reason they now want them signed. I tried to tell them my signature is not worth shit but fuck it, I will indulge in their request because it makes feel like a real author. There’s nothing better than sales, signing and reviews to make you feel legitimately accomplished. Except maybe interviews, those are fanfuckintastic.

Recap? Dogs suck=fuck it, java! Teachers wrong=fuck it, take the compliment! Accomplished nothing=fuck it, there’s tomorrow! Useless signature wanted=fuck it, feel famous! Yeah that sums the shit up nicely. Now back to my java sunrise!

Happy fuck it Friday! Drop a fuck it below, don’t be shy, it’s good for your soul.

A Review by Free Reads Central, Debbie Civil

Shiiit!!! She doesn’t really like nonfiction and gave it a whirl, ending with enjoying it! Much love to you for giving the shit a chance!

Go get it, take 2 hours and laugh, we all need it. Kindle, kindleunlimited or reach out to me.

So You’re Not Supermom….It’s OK!: Rants of a foul mouthed mom Volume 1 By Supermom, JN. – Free Reads Central

https://freereadscentral.news.blog/2020/09/23/so-youre-not-supermom-its-ok-rants-of-a-foul-mouthed-mom-volume-1-by-supermom-jn/amp/?__twitter_impression=true

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Dun dun dah, dun dun dah, dundundun dundundun, dun dun dah!!! If you figured out that tune you are well on your way to the what the fuck Wednesday’s theme! Haha! I’m joking it is not near scary enough for the start of a Wednesday. It’s just what popped into my head *shoulder shrug*

Well I thought it might be a decent one, I had high fucking hopes, with all the fuckery going on something has to give.

Those hopes were shattered, that’s right! Into a million little pieces I saw my happy bubble burst like a kids balloon at the fair. *sigh*

I had not yet woke the kids when hubby came upstairs to head to work and made it known the little assholes had been up until at least two am. I honestly slept through the shit but he didn’t.

Yay!!! Waking and getting going should be fun this morning, ohhhhh so much fucking fun!

Wake one, who yells he cannot see cuz the light is too bright. Wake another who also says he cannot see, as he has his blanket wrapped around his head. Finally get them up for the tenth time as they continue to fall asleep.

Pills in, breakfast poured, clothes changed, one goes back to sleep again. The other sits at the table spitting food onto the floor for the dogs to snack on! Fucking nasty!

Then he decides the dog needs a ride across the floors by the tail. I have the most fucking patient animals ever to deal with the shit the youngest puts them through. It is not from lack of trying to keep him in line, it is just him being the way he is before the meds kick in. The countdown is fucking on for that!

Got that shit dealt with and he decides to run through the house pants around his ankles with the dog trailing behind nipping at them. I am just waiting for her to get a good grip and him to go flying face first onto the hardwood. It wont take long, she is a hearding dog, this should be interesting.

Ugh, is there enough coffee for this shit? Probably not! But today I am headed to a tattoo shop for placement of my next piece and that is what’s pushing me through the morning chaos today!

Yay, pain therapy, oh how I need you so very much right now.

This has been another edition of What The Fuck Wednesday! What The Fuck! Enjoy your hump day!

Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

Well this is one hell of a late start for me this week but it is the day I share something and I love doing it.

Recently, I was a guest on Triangle Media’s Author Spotight which was fantastic.

If you missed it you can watch it here: https://youtu.be/UaynFen-8bc

The books are available on kindle and kindle unlimited.

Lately I haven’t been able to focus on writing, fingers crossed I will be soon.

Happy Shameless Self Promo Saturday everyone, drop what you have below!

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Anyone else on the tippy fucking top of the wonderful roller coaster that what the fuck Wednesday provides? If you need a ride hit me up cuz today is one that could use company.

For starters, I literally just now plunked my ass on the couch to write this and my coffee cup tipped and now my ass crack is burning, yup coffee straight down the crack, don’t ask how this is what wednesday does. *insert major fucking eye roll*

But let’s get to the morning before that little treat!

I have company in my house staying for a bit, I also have two dogs, whom I think are fucking broken, said company has been here for a few days now and you would think the fucking idiots would recognize her! But nope, the poor girl no matter what she tries or does in the house they go fucking nuts. She tried to take a pee at 3:30 am and they went fucking crazy, barking, snarling, you name it. I dont think they are like normal dogs who recognize by scent, fucking dud sniffers around here.

Alright, dealt with that shit, let’s wake with a fucking headache after what little sleep I did receive last night, yay! One coffee in, meditate and time to wake the brats to get ready for school. The youngest was up late, in and out saying he couldn’t sleep and down right fucking miserable this morning. This is going to be fun (sarcasm out the ass in case you didn’t realize lol.)

He comes out yelling at me to get him cereal, then refused to take his pill and told me was not going to school. As fucking if, that kid was going whether he wanted to or not and since he did not want to everything was a battle.

Heres me: eat your food, take your pill, sit down, pack your lunch (literally this means throw it in your lunch bag), go change, stop bugging the dogs, are you done eating?, why havent your changed, get socks, you need a sweater, you need shoes, you need your bag, where is your mask, and on and fucking on!

Heres him: I want more food (he isn’t done the first round), I don’t want to take my pill (yeah that shit is not happening), I cant sit cuz I’m too tired (that’s his own fault for fucking around half the night), I can’t find my lunch bag (it was literally in his backpack), I’m not changing, I’m wearing my onesie to school (as cute as it looks he would die from heat, its fuzzy), the dogs are bugging me (as he sits on the border collies head I’m supposed to believe that shit), no I cant eat there is not enough (bowl still half full of cereal), I cant find clothes (nearly $2000 was just spend on new clothes in this fucking house, figure that one out), I don’t have any socks (2 brand new packs just bought, all missing), my sweater is dirty (kid owns like 6 fucking sweaters), my shoes are gone (took me fifteen fucking minutes to find them, in his room, under his bed, not where they fucking belong), my bags too heavy I don’t want to wear it (it’s about 3lbs in weight), I lost my masks (I knew this shit was going to happen and I have like twenty extra thank gawd).

Finally, out the fucking door! Is that enough for one morning?

Apparently not, there is then the I want front, I want window, I don’t want to go, had to pretty much kick his ass out the car, I love him but he was not fucking staying home. I truly wish his teacher good luck today!

Back home, sit down and well you already know that part. at this point I just want to go back to bed except I need to go get some groceries!

Fingers crossed that shit goes better than the morning so far.

Happy mother fucking hump day all, remember if you need a ride up the roller coaster hit me up, i can attach extra cars for you.

Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

Whoot, whoot, oh baby! This shameless Saturday is just fanfuckintastic as I prepare to air as a guest author on a massive radio, podcast, and online web platform!

As an indie author I never thought this shit would happen but the last year I worked my ass off, let me tell you it has been so much fun and rewarding beyond words!

So, here go!

You can listen for my interview either on the air in Lake County, FL at WQBQ 1410-AM or online around the world at www.wqbq1410.com. Along with this Triangle Media will post on their facebook and other social medias. After it airs the radio show is available on all the major podcast platforms including iTunes, Spotify, Google Play, etc.

The show will air, Monday, Sept 14th from 12 p.m. – 1p.m. Eastern time.

Turn up your volume, grab your head phones, tune in, log on, whatever or however you do it and listen in or watch the video interview.

Then go buy the shit! We as parents all need to know we don’t struggle alone and that is what So You’re Not Supermom It’s Ok! Is all about.

It’s Fuck It Friday!

Let us all come together, stand up and say….. fuck it!

The day of the week where all fucks to give have run out, there’s no more in the bottom of the magical basket sooooooo fuck it!

If you haven’t completed those tasks you still need to do today is not the day for that shit. Just give it a little toss, don’t go all fucking crazy making a big mess now, you know you’ll have to clean that shit up later, so just toss it with a big ass fuck it.

Let me count my fuck its for this beautiful Friday.

The last week I have been trying to book my son’s driver’s test. He turns 16 on the 15th, it is fucking impossible right now. They are so far behind and limited on spots there’s been nothing. So He was to stay up until midnight for when they open the new day in November. Well 4:30 am rolls around and I’m up, fuck it I went to lay on the couch. All of a sudden there’s the teenager, turning lights on and rummaging for something. I ignored, then he comes up with laptop, “Mom I need your help”. “Fuck, for what?” Turns out he found an opening for his test, so I said fuck it, took the laptop and booked that shit.

Laundry has been piling up, although it never fucking ends, with school back in it seems to be worse. They change their clothes more times a day than I can fucking count. Fuck it, they can do that shit this weekend.

The nice thing about them being back in school is there’s less dishes daily, the downfall, I have to go to the grocery store a whole lot more, I keep minimal in the house so I’m not throwing shit out all the time when they aren’t here to eat twenty four seven. Fuck it, they aren’t going to starve to do death today, groceries can wait a day.

I have been trying to catch up on sleep, haha, that shit isn’t happening so fuck it, I am officially taking an all day nap mode. That’s right nothing will be accomplished!

Well the list for Fuck It Friday is started, I’m sure this bitch is going to get longer throughout the day!

Everyone should have a fuck it list, it’s like a weight is lifted off when you just say fuck it! Drop it if you got it!

Now bring on the coffee!!!!

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

I don’t think this hump day should really fucking count as with the long weekend it should be a Tuesday but the calendar states it’s Wednesday and what the fuck as it starts like one.

If it starts like one then it must be one.

Five thirty am, what the fuck am I doing up so early? Well as I uncomfortably attempted to dream sweet ass dreams in bed between the husband and nine year old (yes i fucking know he should be sleeping on his own, however, he refuses to sleep without me right now and my ass is too fucking old for the worlds worst couch) all I hear is……

“Gggrrrrr, woof, woof, bark, whimper, bark, woof, woof” fucking dogs. I love them but ugh!

Roll my ass out of bed, look out the windows, there was nothing, absofuckinlutely nothing. Fuck sakes.

Well I’m up, might as well take them out and press brew on the coffee machine. Going to need that shit today.

Alright, hanging around, chilling, enjoying caffeine, mmmmmmmmm caffeine. And……

“Vvvrrrrooommmmm, whhhaaaappppp!” “Bark, bark, woof, woof, whimper, dogs are running around like fucking idiots again!

What the fuck???

Ahhhhh yes, the oldest three children have arrived back from their dads for school. My oldest son has the loudest fucking truck ever and at his age of seventeen loves to fucking rev it up. I am sure my neighbors want to strangle him as much as I do when he does it at six thirty in the fucking morning!

Daughter comes in, ugh! Oh gawd, never a good sign when she starts that way. What’s wrong? I don’t think I really wanted to know, it’s too fucking early but had to ask so she knows I care. “I have to do pictures today, I hate pictures and they might make us wear our masks in them” What the fuck would be the point of that shit? She didn’t know either, so if anyone has the answer to that please enlighten me.

I head outside to the step for a smoke, go to sit down and the oldest is walking up. Now there is three fucking steps to get to the door. He takes one step up, gets to the second, lifts his leg and rips ass!!! Like fucking loud n nasty, even outside you could smell it. “Morning mom” well good fucking stinky morning to you too son. He continues inside.

Second oldest boy comes walking up. “Morning mom” takes step one, gets to step two, just as I’m about sit on step one, he lifts his leg and you fucking guessed it, rips ass too!!!! “What the fuck? You’re brother just did that too, for real” “hehehehe, really?” And he continues inside. At least his was only loud and not smelly. For real though, fucking boys!

Every time they are with their dad they come back gaseous and taking dumps that clog the toilets. Next I’ll be plunging the fucking shit, literally.

When I came back in I asked what they had last night, which was little cesars pizza, better known to me as colon cleanser, the pizza is not gross, it’s just super fucking greasy and the shit will slide right out you the next day!

What the fuck Wednesday, I have not been up two hours yet, the younger ones are still asleep and so far you have disturbed my shitty sleep that I still needed, made teenage girl miserable, better watch I don’t piss her off more and fucking crop dusted me twice by nasty teenage boys!

Boy oh boy, I can’t wait for the rest of today to get going! How’s your what the fuck Wednesday?

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

I don’t think this hump day should really fucking count as with the long weekend it should be a Tuesday but the calendar states it’s Wednesday and what the fuck as it starts like one.

If it starts like one then it must be one.

Five thirty am, what the fuck am I doing up so early? Well as I uncomfortably attempted to dream sweet ass dreams in bed between the husband and nine year old (yes i fucking know he should be sleeping on his own, however, he refuses to sleep without me right now and my ass is too fucking old for the worlds worst couch) all I hear is……

“Gggrrrrr, woof, woof, bark, whimper, bark, woof, woof” fucking dogs. I love them but ugh!

Roll my ass out of bed, look out the windows, there was nothing, absofuckinlutely nothing. Fuck sakes.

Well I’m up, might as well take them out and press brew on the coffee machine. Going to need that shit today.

Alright, hanging around, chilling, enjoying caffeine, mmmmmmmmm caffeine. And……

“Vvvrrrrooommmmm, whhhaaaappppp!” “Bark, bark, woof, woof, whimper, dogs are running around like fucking idiots again!

What the fuck???

Ahhhhh yes, the oldest three children have arrived back from their dads for school. My oldest son has the loudest fucking truck ever and at his age of seventeen loves to fucking rev it up. I am sure my neighbors want to strangle him as much as I do when he does it at six thirty in the fucking morning!

Daughter comes in, ugh! Oh gawd, never a good sign when she starts that way. What’s wrong? I don’t think I really wanted to know, it’s too fucking early but had to ask so she knows I care. “I have to do pictures today, I hate pictures and they might make us wear our masks in them” What the fuck would be the point of that shit? She didn’t know either, so if anyone has the answer to that please enlighten me.

I head outside to the step for a smoke, go to sit down and the oldest is walking up. Now there is three fucking steps to get to the door. He takes one step up, gets to the second, lifts his leg and rips ass!!! Like fucking loud n nasty, even outside you could smell it. “Morning mom” well good fucking stinky morning to you too son. He continues inside.

Second oldest boy comes walking up. “Morning mom” takes step one, gets to step two, just as I’m about sit on step one, he lifts his leg and you fucking guessed it, rips ass too!!!! “What the fuck? You’re brother just did that too, for real” “hehehehe, really?” And he continues inside. At least his was only loud and not smelly. For real though, fucking boys!

Every time they are with their dad they come back gaseous and taking dumps that clog the toilets. Next I’ll be plunging the fucking shit, literally.

When I came back in I asked what they had last night, which was little cesars pizza, better known to me as colon cleanser, the pizza is not gross, it’s just super fucking greasy and the shit will slide right out you the next day!

What the fuck Wednesday, I have not been up two hours yet, the younger ones are still asleep and so far you have disturbed my shitty sleep that I still needed, made teenage girl miserable, better watch I don’t piss her off more and fucking crop dusted me twice by nasty teenage boys!

Boy oh boy, I can’t wait for the rest of today to get going! How’s your what the fuck Wednesday?

Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

Finally it has arrived, the day of the week I share something that I have created and shamelessly throw the shit in the faces of others. It is my favorite day by far.

This week I am going to share a chapter from my memoir I recently released. The most in depth stories of my life. The deepest, darkest secrets never told, revealed.

Please keep in mind these are my stories, my points of view and my feelings. Not everyone will agree and that’s ok.

Disclaimer Some names and identifying details of people described in this book have been altered to protect their privacy.

My memoir is not for everyone, it can trigger traumatic personal events of others lives, so please caution yourself should you choose to read it.

WORDS HURT

“I had just come back from downtown, where I was taking a mandatory course for parenting after separation. As I walked in the door, Drake was sitting there staring at me, the look one gets from their parents when they get home past the curfew.
He was sitting with our girl in his arms, she was only a couple of weeks old, and so tiny. The minute I got in the house, I could smell the Disaronno emanating from him, while the bottle sat on top next to the chair.
Not wanting to initiate anything that could put my daughter in harm’s way, I said nothing. I walked up, gave him a kiss, and asked if I could now hold her.
Reluctantly, he passed her to me without a fuss and picked up his bottle of liquor, guzzling down a few more gulps that he really did not need. After having sat and fed the baby, I head to bed with her. She always slept with me, all my kids did for the first six months or so.
He would stay downstairs and continue to consume his drinks.
I lay down next to my baby, and it would not be long until I fell asleep. I don’t know what time it was, but the way I was woken would not be expected.
My eyes sprung open; my body jolted to the end of the bed. He grabbed hold of my feet and yanked me nearly right out of bed, stopping just before my ass fell to the ground. He laughed and threw himself on the mattress; I instantly grabbed for the end of the baby blanket that my daughter was wrapped in.
Reflexes work wonders when it comes to my child being in harm’s way.
His body slammed into the mattress, just as I was scooping the baby up off it.
This would set him off even more. He jumped up and cornered us in the room, blocking the doorway exit.
As I held our daughter, my only thought was how to get out of there safely with her.
He stood there, telling me I was nothing but a road map of stretch marks on fat, and that my clitoral area would be considered a penis so I should go have a sex change like my father did, I asked him to just step aside, and let us leave.
He ranted and raved about how shitty of a person I was, how my children knew I was a whore, and that I was never going to be anything else. I stood there, I took it all, every word he had to say drilled into me that night. When he was done, he headed outside for a smoke.
I left, and I left everything. I did not grab anything the baby needed. I did not take anything I needed. I grabbed my car keys, and we left my house. It was my house—I paid the bills—and I was being run out by him.
I went to a friend’s house that night. I did not have many places to go, but I surely was not going back to where he was and I did not have the financial means for a hotel.
When I returned the next day he was still asleep upstairs in my bed. I had no sympathy for him, so I vacuumed, did the dishes, laundry, toy clean up, and I banged every cupboard in my house to ensure that the bastard suffered with his hangover.
Yet, I still took his apologies, his promises, and his sober words that he would never do anything like that again.
Sober words are just the lies of what one truly feels. Sobriety simply hides the actions that are always there. When one drinks, there is less control. Intoxication is not an impulsive behaviour. Intoxication is how we free ourselves from the chains of rational thought. Not all of us are truly rational.”

If you would like to read my full memoir it is available on kindle for $9.99 and free on kindle unlimited.

Happy Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

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