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Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

Yes! Saturday! Shamelessly throwing my shit in your face haha. It is not like I don’t do this daily anyway but in the writing community it is the day we do it without anyone bitching about it really.

So here is my crap: you know you want it, it is fanfuckintastic crap!

My paperback order just arrived, exciting, I know. I have both volumes in stock. $15 CAD each with shipping in Canada, $20 CAD each with shipping in USA. You want them signed? sure I won’t even charge you. I think it is bullshit some people charge extra for this but that is just my opinion. I will even throw in a bookmark or 2 just in case the kids decide to do something stupid while you’re in the middle of reading it. Trust they probably will.

Wine tumblers in stock, drink that water, juice, alcohol whatever fancies you with a sweet little bit of my words of wisdom. $30 CAD each or 2 for $58 CAD. shipping is about $20 CAD per cup, I know I am sorry but I cannot control the fucking postal expenses. They suck!

Coffee mugs in stock, want that morning pick me up saying so you can feel better about the kids running around being assholes? I got yeah covered. These are honest little words of wisdom if you have kids you know they are no lie! $20 CAD each or 2 for $38 CAD. Again shipping is $20 CAD per, I get it that seems like a rip off and I agree but they are worth it.

If you made it through reading all that shit I threw at you, I thank you. Now one last thing.

I have a call for submissions for an LGBTQ+ anthology, this project is very dear to me. It is non-profit. I am investing my own money and proceeds will be donated. Please share my submissions, tell friends, family and colleagues. I only need 20 people to participate by the end of November.

Happy shamelessly self promoting all.

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Shameless Self Promo Saturday

This is going to be the most fucking epic shameless self promo Saturday EVER!

CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS IS LIVE! yes I am putting together a non-profit LGBTQ+ anthology. Go get the details from the submissions page! or click submissions. This is a project I am very excited and proud to be putting in place finally. It took me along time to figure out how to memorialize my father.

PAPERBACKS ON THE WAY! Finally, these beauties have left Amazon in print. I am extremely proud of my So You’re Not Supermom Series, I think they are fabulous but I am biased so find out for yourself. They are $15.00 CAD per book with shipping in Canada and $20.00 CAD per book with shipping in USA. You can also purchase ebooks for $0.99 on Amazon, Google Play Books, and Smashwords.

MUGS, BOOKMARKS & SHIT! My shop is open, I still have some inventory and the wine tumblers should be ready in a couple days. Unfortunately, shipping costs are slightly ridiculous for items and I have no control over that. Trust me I wish I did. But if you reside local to me I will deliver items.

ALL THE WRONG LOVE: Abuse, Betrayal, Forgiveness. This is my memoir, two years in the making and it is so close to being done I can feel the closure and healing. The story I share for my anthology project is a portion of this book. It looks into the depths of my life that stood hidden for a very long time.

That is it, told you it was epic. I am truly very lucky to have come as far as I have in my writing career. I can not wait to continue the growth. Especially sharing own voices from a beautiful community.

Happy Shameless Self Promo all.

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🍃🌻Sunshine Blogger Award🌻🍃

A very massive foul mouthed shout out to the most fucking amazing blogging supporter this bitch has. Ms Catarina at Beauty Of Cafe 205. Girl you fucking rock and I truly thank you for thinking of my random shit! You have been such a great follower to have in my life and please do not ever change! You are such a fucking joy with your comments.

The Sunshine Blogger Award is given to bloggers who inspire Positiveness and Creativity in the blogging community.

The Rules Are:

1. Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link to their blog.

2. List the rules.

3. Display the Sunshine Blogger Award Logo in your blog post.

4. Answer all 11 Questions asked of you by the blogger.

5. Nominate up to 11 New Bloggers to receive the Award and notify them.

6. Create 11 New Questions for your nominees.

Beauty of Cafe 205 Questions For Me

What was the one thing you disliked about quarantine? Has got to be wearing a mask at work all day every day especially since I fucking love my coffee and do not chew gum. This leave a very nasty coffee breath and nobody wants to smell that shit.

Taking trips after quarantine? Fuck I hope so, this mama needs a vacation after trying to home school seven kids, which I completely failed at. Can’t win them all.

Are you quitting your job? Shit I wish I could afford to.

Are you still going to do what you had planned before all this? Well, I really did not have anything planned except camping and that is opening back up, sort of, nature is my home, someone fucking take me home please!

Plain dark coffee or cappuccino? Does a cappuccino have sugar? Can’t handle sweet ass coffee if it does.

What did you like about being at home with your loved ones? Being able to nap, nothing like a good midday sleep to perk my ass up.

What was the funniest movie you watched on Netflix? I do think I even turned that crap on in months.

Why did you start blogging? So I can rant shit that pisses me off as a working parent with the hope other parents can feel not so alone in the struggles.

When did you start blogging? Some time around 2 months ago, I think, maybe, fuck pregnancy brain never goes away.

Favorite quarantine dish you made? Every dish that came from an app on my phone and randomly showed up in front of my door, I probably took too many days off not cooking a damn thing.

Leave a link of your favorite blog post from your blog Shameless Self Promo Book 2 Preview

My Nominees CHERRYWRITES THEBOOKMUSTER SECONDTIMEAROUNDHOMESTEAD ELOISASNOTSOSECRETDIARY TOKENART HANGINGWITHAMANDA THEBOOKFLING ALLINTHISMOMENT LUREVIEWSBOOKS RACHTALKSBUSINESS TESSABARRIE

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It’s Fuck It Friday!

I survived, fuck it has been a week for sure! See what I did there? lol Another week coming to a close with a couple days off after today. Another Friday to say fuck it to all the things I still did not accomplish and just revel in the fact that I made it.

I even get to say fuck it to working all day today as I have an appointment that is allowing me to leave at noon. I am excited for that shit . Can you tell?

My daughter is up at six am, apparently has not slept all night playing on her electronics and my fuck it mode said if you are awake to bug me the least you can do is make me a coffee. She gladly did and it is a pretty fucking tasty coffee. She literally just asked for chocolate cookies, fuck it! go ahead, you made me coffee.

As I am going to be off early today, there will be a fuck it I am taking a nap too! I miss my naps, that was always the best part of being off work.

Oh yes Fuck It Friday is the day you can say fuck it to the shit you have put on hold and just relax! If you need help to make a fuck it list just do it like this.

dishes=fuck it, laundry=fuck it, cleaning=fuck it, cooking=fuck it. Yes take everything on that list and add fuck it beside it. Done, you may even thank me for it, the fuck it attitude is a lot less stressful and we all need less stress in life right now.

Happy Fuck It Friday!

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It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Ahhh yes, the mid week hump has arrived and bestowed itself upon the world again. I am pretty sure this what the fuck Wednesday started on Monday this week. It has already been such a long fucking week with uphill battles from the start.

Emotions and attitude have been running high as fuck around every aspect of me and it is down right exhausting! Not just my kids, but with work, people at their work, everything! It must be something in the fucking planetary alignments screwing with shit!

I was so run down from the last two days I slept all night! Literally, I did not even get up to pee like I normally do, I heard nothing from the youngest all night, hopefully he slept and did not get into shit. I didn’t hear the dogs bark when the oldest returned last night from his friends house either. You can always tell when a parent has drained themselves to nothing as they actually sleep undisturbed.

I am now up slightly early, still feeling tired as fuck for work. Sitting in the silence of the house just dreading today after the last two days of bullshit from the world around me. I can only hope that the hump of this week allows shit to start settling down. You know like a roller coaster, it ramps up to the top and then just slides to bottom and levels the fuck out where you can finally breath. Yeah that is what I need.

I need to fucking breath, I need this ride to just chill the fuck out. So far the only good thing that has happened is my lovely shirt and beautiful note that arrived! Ellie you totally made my week, cannot wait to wear the shit out that shirt!

Happy What The Fuck Wednesday all, may your ride be ending if it has been a week!

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It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Today’s What the Fuck Wednesday must be some kind of calm before the storm. I had a great sleep. I am only up about an hour before my alarm and the the house is quiet. I mean dead fucking quiet.

This has got to be due to having no kids! That’s right absolutely no fucking kids. Alllll week.

How did I get so fucking lucky? Well sometimes being a blended family is nice, I can split them up into directions and with different people and my house falls eerily fucking silent. Let’s be honest nobody in their right mind wants seven kids at once if they didn’t make them.

It does not happen often and I actually have a horrible time dealing with it as i am not used to it.

But I do attempt to enjoy it as well. I do not have to cook, clean, yell, chase or fight any kids and have done nothing the last three days. For real I have accomplished fuck all on all levels, it is fantastic, as well as odd.

While my morning is calm, my night was rested there is still a day of work and tonight for something to happen. I am not being a downer just a realist.

Just to make my What the Fuck Wednesday even better I am going throw in the fact I now have official So You’re Not Supermom….It’s Ok! coffee mugs up for grabs. Get in touch if interested. They are $20 CAD each plus shipping which determining shipping is on my list of shit to do this week.

Happy What the Fuck Wednesday all. Have a fanfuckintastic one!

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Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

Well I did not post on fuck it Friday, it was part of my fuck it list, a very long list this week. As I was exhausted and spent the evening after work trying to get my kids to clean. Nasty little creatures they are. Gawd I love them though.

A new day and another Saturday to bring on the sweet ass promoting though.

With two books out now of So You’re Not Supermom….It’s Ok! I am not sure which one to put a bit of for today but i did receive a couple more readings from hunnygoddess and you can check those here and here. If paperback is your style get in touch I have a shipment coming!

So I am going throw out something different. This will be in my upcoming memoir later this year. A look into the depths of my life. This is a much lighter section of it, there is some heavy fucking shit in this book.

“At the time I don’t believe any of us truly understood. We were all so young, under the age of about ten. The mentality and comprehension at our ages were not developed enough to realize or make such a decision.
Even today, it is a hard situation that cannot easily be understood or explained. As sat we all agreed that it would be awesome, that we were all okay with it and so the decision was made.
My father was always there for us. He started his journey transitioning into a female. He would still raise us with our mom and life would continue as per usual. At least that was the lie we were told and thought, but it didn’t end that way.
Not long down the life path we moved to a small trailer next to my first school and, of all things, a fucking taxidermy. It was traumatizing.
My room stood to the back of the trailer and out the window the only view was piles of bones. They were stacked against the side of the taxidermy building next door and strewn through the small patch of grass between us. Some of them still fresh enough to have slight remains of flesh and meat, while others had been there for so long they were breaking and decaying. If you want to give a kid nightmares, you’d live there.
Living here had its ups and downs for all of us. Our school was right next door, and that was nice. Things seemed good. Nobody knew us, nobody knew of the transition yet, and we continued on with life.
Until that one day, I still sit here wondering what the fuck it was about. I can only speculate that it had something to do with my dad’s choice to transition. In the nineties, such things didn’t happen in the public eye. Nobody made it known, and you definitely did not do it in a small hick town where all things new and unknown were rejected.”

An excerpt from All The Wrong Love. Abuse Betrayal Forgiveness A Memoir.

Happy Shameless Self Promo Saturday! Show me what you got and drop a comment below with yours!

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It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!!

Honestly, when I went to bed last night I thought this Wednesday would be different. You know since it is only technically a fucking Tuesday for the work week as it was a long weekend. But I was wrong! So very fucking wrong.

Now I still to this what the fuck Wednesday have not figured out why this is the day of the week that is always ridiculously fucking stupid. I have tried it all to not have it happen but fuck me, it always finds a way to be shit!

So here we go my what the fuck Wednesday morning in a nutshell.

It all began on my middle of night pee. 2 AM today, again as I rise from the depth of a decent sleep after having gone to bed early, I make my way upstairs. Ah silence! That is until the youngest yet again calls into the depths of the dark of the hallway from his bedroom.

Heeellooooooo! Who’s there? Mom? Mom?

That little shit knows it’s me I am the only one who gets up at any point throughout the night besides him.

As he exits his room, I hear it, mom I’m hungry. Well of course he is! He’s awake and refused to eat at dinner time which is not unusual and he ate around 9 PM before bed due to his ADHD medications.

Ugh, get a snack and go back to bed already! Well if he didn’t bring me a cold peach tea from the fridge.

Can I have this? Fuck NO! You can not. A: that is not food and B: it has enough caffiene in it to keep you up for days! Food! pick something that requires chewing!

So, he decides on macaroni salad, now he takes forever to eat, like one fucking noodle at a time forever. As I waited for him to finish to get him back to bed, being a woman kicks in. Shoot me now, I swear the older I get the worse it is!

Alright, back in bed, curled up in a fetal position, trying to sleep took a couple hours, alarm goes off, fuck!!!!

Get up do my usual, coffee, meditation, get dressed, pack for work, where the fuck did my keys go?

Yay, seek the keys! What the hell did the 15 year old do with them? He surely didn’t hang them on the key rack where they fucking belong because you know, why the fuck would he do that?

Twenty minutes later after emptying the entire purse, which I should probably clean out, there’s a lot of shit in there, I find them! Ugh off to work, tired, crampy and miserable.

What the Fuck Wednesday? Why do you have to be such a bitch every week?

I give up. I am just going to go with the WTF flow.

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Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

Oh, yes, another day to fill my feeds with the crap I have published. Today I get to fill it with two sets. Yes, there is officially two books of the shit I spew out now. I know what you might be thinking, how is it possible to have that much? Well seven kids is how.

The good part is, if you enjoyed the first set of shit then you will enjoy the second because it is literally the same just new ones.

You do not have to have kids, be a mom or a woman at all, men count too you know and as the reviews from all types say it is at the very least a good fucking laugh.

So need a laugh? Then buy the fucking books lol. $0.99 each, you can get both cheaper than a cup of coffee and they are great to read with coffee. Mmmmmmm coffee, I am off to make myself some.

Book 1: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CG5JCPY

Book 2: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0871TJW55

Feel free to drop your self promo links in the comments. Happy promoting!

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It’s Fuck It Friday!

This one is brought to you by the letter S. The word of the day is Sleepless. Yes sleepless as it has been a sleepless fucking night.

Youngest boy refused to sleep last night, up, down, hungry, playing, drinks, bathroom, you fucking name it he had it all covered. To this moment he still has not passed out, I wish I had half his fucking energy. I figured for sure he would be in lala land by now, but nope, his ADHD is strong and going hard since yesterday. I even tried melatonin which usually does the trick except last night.

So fuck it Friday is equal to absolutely nothing getting done and naps!

Oh there will be naps today outside of that my demeanor truly is fuck it!

I have both clean and dirty laundry piled but fuck it. Dishes that require to be unloaded and loaded into the dishwasher but fuck it. Bathrooms that need to be cleaned but fuck it. Meals that need to be cooked tonight but fuck it.

It’s a long weekend and all that shit can wait and food can be ordered, thank god that is still available to me. This mama is on a fuck it Friday roll and I have no shame in it after a long week of work, kids and cooking.

What are you going to say fuck it to on this lovely, long weekend Friday?

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It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Good fucking morning! It is that wonderful time of the week. You know how I know?

Well, middle of the night last night I woke up to use the bathroom. Really that happens every night, my bladder is not the same after being used as a fucking punching bag through six pregnancies but as I was up I thought all were asleep.

The house was quiet, went to take dogs out and I begin to hear, hellooo, hellooooo, who’s there? The youngest fucking wide awake doing an eerily creepy call into the dark abyss of the house.

Now, I figured if I ignored him he would go back to bed. So I take the dogs out. Turn around in the dark to see his face up against the screen door looking out. Not going to lie, slight fucking heart attack there from the little shit.

Moooom, he whispers, I’m hungry. For fuck sake it’s 1 AM get a snack and go to bed. He gets a snack, goes to bed. Okay, good to go back to bed. Nope.

He then decides to come and make it known he needs a shirt. For real he had a fucking shirt on while asking. There was nothing wrong with it, he just did not want to sleep. Like fuck, I was not about to rummage through laundry it was nearly 1:30 AM now. Finally, I convinced him to go back to bed and went myself.

I hate the half awake, half asleep state it’s bullshit. Next thing I know I am wide awake early! Before my fucking alarm for work! I mean, I love seeing a good sunrise but not when sleep eluded me and I am now back to work.

Now this mama is off to work with bloodshot sleepless eyes and not enough caffeine in the fucking world.

How’s your what the fuck Wednesday?

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It’s A Fuck It Friday Giveaway!

Well the week has ended and Mother’s Day is just around the corner. So this fuck it Friday I have decided fuck it, I want to make some other mama’s happy and give them a good laugh at shit. In order to do that I am hosting 3 giveaways for book 1.

Just so you know you don’t #struggle alone in #parenting.

I will choose 5 mama’s

The price of a card!

I am doing it on instagram @ JNSUPERMOM & Twitter @jess38049045 & Facebook @ https://www.facebook.com/jnsupermom/ for more chances…you can click the page names to go directly to them. Go like, share, or comment on the giveaway post to be entered. I will pick 5 from each platform giving more chances. I will draw names tomorrow night May 9 2020 around 6pm mountain time!

Just say Fuck it and enter you have nothing to lose but a chance to win.

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It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Oh for fuck sake! It’s Wednesday and it started early today. I mean like 4:30 AM fucking early.

Oh what a peaceful sleep it started out to be, until my ears started listening to the world around me. Hate when they do that shit!

Pew pew, take that. Nooooooo! Ahhhhhh! You can’t win. Raaahhhhh clash, smack, boom. You’re dead. Hahahahahaha!

What in the fuck? As my eyes fluttered and I rolled over to the edge of the bed. Plunking my feet on the ground, I grab my robe and head out to the war I can hear happening.

What do I fucking find? My youngest, playing battle of the guys, what the fuck, it’s 4:30 in the morning!

But I am not tired. I want to play. Can I have a snack? I am hungry.

Are you fucking kidding me? No it’s not time to play, grab a snack and get your ass in bed! Go to sleep for the love of all sanity! Or at least my fucking sanity!

Marched him upstairs, grabbed a snack, put him in bed. Then you know how it goes, you climb back in bed, laying there sort of awake and sort of asleep but neither really fucking happens.

6:45 rolls around, hubby’s alarm goes off, ugh, get out of bed again, haven’t even made it to the coffee maker yet and the fucking cat pukes all over the floor. Fuck me!

Of course dogs are nasty shit and love to eat it, so trying to keep dog away from the vomit pile while getting the paper towel and cleaner was fun. Walk backwards, point finger, repeat no. Ugh! Clean it up, dog sniffs around looking for morsels of vomit, nasty creatures.

Someone bring me some fucking coffee extra espresso shots, PLEASE. It is going to be a long what the fuck Wednesday!

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Marketing Monday!

Being an Indie Author is fucking hard work, we all put every bit of us into doing what we can. We are shameless, it’s fucking exhausting.

Therefore, you need to take advantage of things when you can. I came across a wonderful tweet the other day from Keisha Jones with Hunny Goddess Media who was looking for some Indie books to read on her story time platforms. She has done two sections of my book for free. Yes, free, which is fucking fabulous.

She offers to read a teaser of your work to help expand the audience and interest. If you’re looking for some support you can get in touch with her at hunnygoddessradio@gmail.com or http://www.eclecticallybalanced.com

She is a lovely person. While you’re at it you can check out what she has read of mine here and here.

Hope some of you find this useful and get in touch with this amazing lady. We all need to support each other however we can.

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Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

Here we are, Mother’s Day is coming and you want something extra fucking special! Well why not give her the gift of knowing she is not alone struggling to raise kids. So You’re Not Supermom….It’s OK! Rants of a foul mouthed mom is a fabulous little read to do just that.

Today’s excerpt is from Volume 2 on pre-order now, releases May 16th. Each Volume is only 99 cents on kindle. Cheaper than those flowers and cards your think might be good.

Are those clothes clean?
Laundry, a war nobody can ever fucking win when they have children.
You might get to the bottom of the pile but the second you turn your back?
BAM!
It’s right back up there, like you didn’t just wash ten fucking loads of the shit!
The most important question to ask about the clothing your kid wears?
Are they clean?
Yes, you want to make sure that the shit you are putting on or using is in fact clean.
My house is absolutely fucking famous for mixing the freshly washed laundry with the nasty shit they just rolled around in all day!
But when you find something clean well it might not actually be fucking clean!
Just the other day I took a clean towel out of the laundry, it looked fresh and smelled fresh.
Yes, I smell the clean laundry!
I have animals and kids!
I need to make sure that shit is clean!
Anyway, I took it out, had my shower and as I was drying off with it, I could see spots of glitter on parts of my body.
No choice now but to finish drying with it.
I’ll be damned if by the end of it, I didn’t look like a fucking unicorn who doused themselves in fairy dust!
That shit was head to toe on me and I sparkled in the sun!
It was ridiculous!
I’m pretty sure it was washed with something of my daughter’s.
You know one of those super cute outfits that sparkle and look all girlie?
Yah, one of those fucking things!
Anytime you reach into those nice clean clothes just make sure they are clean!
It might be glitter filled, dirt filled or food filled, you just never know what you’re going to get.
Don’t stress though just throw it into the dirty pile you tried washing earlier!
Then reach in and grab something else!
Just keep on going until you find something actually clean.
Why?
Because you can’t and won’t win against laundry.
It will always get mixed up!
It will never fucking end!
As long as you and them go out smelling and looking clean in what you have on, then you have won that battle!
That’s all you needed to do!
Just win that moments battle!
Because the war on laundry can’t be won.

Words of Wisdom
Even if it looks or
smells clean
Does not mean it is

If you made it the end of this thank you!

Get Volume 1 here

Get Volume 2 here

As well a go fund me is raising funds for my dear friend, please share any all support here

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Friday Friendship!

Okay lovely people of the world. I would ordinarily do Fuck It Friday but today is different.

As I mentioned a few days ago in memory monday post a very dear friend of mine had to do the most heartbreaking fucking news to her babies. Their father passed away suddenly at work of a heart attack.

Now she is left to raise 3 kids (15,13,10) on her own and assume all the financial costs for funeral, and whatever else comes her way.

I know the world is a shit place right now and things are fucking falling apart for so many. All I am asking is that you at least share this for me. Please I am fucking begging you. She is the most wonderful amazing person and without her I would not be where I am today.

This woman does so much, she needs a hand up. Thank you to any who share, donate, send messages whatever.

You can view the go fund me page here.

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It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

This mornings what the fuck Wednesday is brought to you by, interruption! Ah yes, they love to just come and mess around. At least today it was a good laugh!

I get up early, like five or six in the morning early, I like my fucking coffee with silence and meditation. I do this purposely as my kids are lazy little shits and typically sleep in since there is no school. Of course it did not happen this morning because it is fucking Wednesday!

Smack dab in the middle of meditation the eleven year old wakes, of course, why not? She can’t control when she gets up but she could control bugging me. She just fucking chooses not to. So there I am coffee in hand, trying to do my meditation in peace and she starts talking. As if I can hear a fucking thing, I throw my hands up at her to say so.

All of a sudden she starts acting out ques for charades, okay, this is can do lol. So as she goes along, arms up, arms down, shake yes, shake no, I can not help but start laughing. She gives me the snobby ass preteen look and heads to the kitchen counter. What the fuck for is funnier than shit!

As I watch her, she begins reading the labels of the cleaners I left there. Scoops one up, reads another, scoops that one up and by the time she is ready to head back to me her arms are full. I mean she had like four fucking products, I couldn’t help but giggle!

Walking back to the couch, her arms full, I pause my music and snap photos, yes I am that mom!. She starts setting them down, she begins pointing out certain letters on each, well fuck me! I was laughing so hard at how she went about this there was snorts, tears and fucking laughter for a good ten minutes.

Then I realize three things, first off I should teach her some word scramble she could’ve just used one product bottle, second that girl really needs to work on her spelling and third I need my kids back in school so that I don’t have to teach her either of those fucking things.

Once I figured out what it was, she threw herself back on the couch looking like she had just run a fucking marathon! Then pleased with herself for getting it done and me laughing so fucking hard, she went back to bed. Oh man this is gonna be a long ass year!

I can’t wait for the others to get up, I can only hope they are as entertaining on this What The Fuck Wednesday as she was.

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It’s A Monday Memory Day

Alright, this one might slap you hard in the feels, make your eyes tear or cause you to reminisce on something that really fucking sucked.

This past weekend I was reminded that life is short, too fucking short for some. My very good, loving, amazing friend had to tell her children their father passed. All I want to do is go hold her until the pain she feels subsides, to wipe her tears and just fucking be there and I can’t. It kills me, so I am going to do what I do best and share my writing.

I wrote the piece of poetry below around the nine year mark of the loss of my father. I hope that it can be related to for anyone who has suffered through such an event. It’s not fucking easy.

Dreams of those lost
are how they come back to us
As i walk among the silent grounds
Passing all the etched polished stones
I look for you left unmarked
A secret path only in my heart
The trees above shading us
I lay myself down to a rest
Seeking solice atop the grass
I have but only one thing to ask
Please come back just one more time
I miss your guidance in this life
I need you now more than ever
I want just one more day together
A single kiss and hug goodbye
An embrace only you can provide
Just once more to hear you say
I love you my angel, you’ll be okay

Tell the people you love that you fucking love them while you can. Time is not guaranteed to any of us. Make the best of it.

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Shameless Self Promo Saturday

Well it is that time people to shamelessly self promote your shit! I have decided to give you a ranting glimpse inside the wonderful bullshit of raising kids from So You’re Not Supermom…It’s OK! Rants of a foul mouthed mom Volume 1.

Let’s be honest the crap you download from the book previews online fucking suck!

Do Ends Meet?
One of the absolute hardest, most defeating parts of raising kids is making ends meet!
You rob Peter, fuck Paul because the kids need to eat.
You rob Paul, fuck Peter because the kids are sick.
You take a loan to pay a loan to get another fucking loan because the utilities are going to be disconnected.
You beg, borrow and steal in every way possible just to realize you’re fucked for another month.
You stand in line at the food bank hoping you don’t run into anyone else you know because your shame and guilt of having to be there is too much.
You stop eating most days and lie to your children that you’re not hungry to ensure they are full before you even go near what’s left on the stove.
You go to bed stressed and crying and you wake stressed and crying not knowing where you’ll find the cash.
You feel like shit while you do it because you feel like you have to.
Yes this is making ends meet in the life of raising kids.

It is all perfectly fine!
I fucking dread bills! Those bastards get paid and by the time that happens the next bastards need to be fucking paid!
Well guess what world?
MY ASS IS NOT A BANK MACHINE!
I CANNOT JUST SWIPE AND PULL!
If you have kids that all made sense and if don’t have kids yet, well it will when you do.
I’m starting to believe nobody ever gets ahead on these things, they never end, they just keep fucking coming!
The good news is since bills will always be there it’s perfectly fine to rob one for the other!
To skip that payment for what your child needs.
To rob a bill just enough to get the little buggars enough food to eat the following month.
The reason?

You put that little human being first!
You are still providing what they need when it’s needed.
You are still a great parent even though you don’t feel like it.
You made it work!
You made it another day, week or month without the kids having to starve or continue to be sick or whatever.
You can now rest easy for a bit knowing all this.
Don’t forget it was you!
You beautiful parent!

Words of Wisdom
Money can’t buy everything
It only buys wants, not needs

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Fuck It Friday!

Ooohhhh, it is my favorite day of the long ass week! Fuck it Friday.

The kids have been absolute gems all week, everything went perfectly, you worked, you cleaned, you cooked, oh my gawd, who the fuck am I trying to lie to? It was shit none of that really happened! But………

Wahoo! you all survived the chaos of the days before, it is Friday the sun is fucking shining, birds are chirping and the day has only begun. I am two coffees in and the kids are still in a state of slumber, man Friday is great.

So what does fuck it Friday mean? Well it means fuck it!

That’s right all those things you think you have to do fuck it.

Laundry piled up?, fuck it. Dishes need to be washed?, fuck it. Kids are trying to beat each other?, fuck it (for real, let them figure out how to deal with their own shit, we are not gonna be here forever.)

Want to binge Netflix?, fuck yeah, do it! Want to take a nap?, that is the absolute fucking best, lay your ass down, you deserve it. Want to pour that drink or crack that beer at one o’clock in the beaming sun?, shit it is always five o’clock somewhere, do it! Don’t want to cook?, no worries teach the kids, it’s about time their ass’s learn how or order in, both fantastic options on a Friday!

Today, all those are my Fuck it Friday list, I have no shame in it either! I work hard to take one day a week and say Fuck it, to everything.

What’s on the docket for your Fuck it Friday?

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Thursday’s Unpleasant Thoughts!

I just spent the last two hours listening to my mother talk about her preparation for death! How she is putting money away for this and that, the codes to access everything, the lay out of her will, and all that shit! As if she is going to fucking die any day soon. She is way too stubborn for that shit to happen.

But it got me thinking of when I found my dad passed away in his hospital bed, slumped off the edge, only feet from the nurses station and the shit that followed that dreadful fucking experience of loss. He had nothing. Nothing saved, nothing in order, nothing laid out and it was all left to us children to figure out what the fuck to do on our own.

These processes of life are less than fucking pleasant thoughts to have but in some strange way are so very necessary in ones life. Now how the fuck do you go about crap that you know must inevitably deal with but have no clue how to deal with? Well I don’t fucking know either so if anyone has any advice I would love some.

The only one thing I have ever put in place is life insurance to ensure my little shits do not have to break their banks worrying about how to cover the costs of my demise. That is it, I am not old, but over the last few years a lot of those I have grown up have been taken in untimely ways. I am also not very young anymore either, kind of just fucking stuck in the middle of life.

Maybe it is time to get my own shit together. It is bound to happen eventually, it is inevitable that we all must lay our asses to rest for good at some point.

Yup, that is Thursday’s Unpleasant Thoughts!

Maybe next week I will have something better to spew out of my fucking head. Or at least less dark and disturbing would be just great.

Then again maybe not!

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It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Ah yes, it must be fucking Wednesday! Sun isn’t shining, kids are miserable, I am only two fucking coffees in and already I would love to go curl back up into bed!

WTF Wednesday is in full swing this week! How do I know? Well within this very short time of being up, waking my youngest made him absolutely fucking miserable, not a little miserable but to the core everything is pissing him off!

I had to wake him early to ensure he got his ADHD meds today, I could not handle another day of him sleeping in and it being too late for meds to be administered where he literally climbs the fucking walls. I mean literally!

Meds in, not without a fight he went to get himself cereal, not much milk left, which is a typical thing in my house. He however, is throwing a tantrum over it. He poured way too big of a bowl and me not wanting to waste food I went to dump some back in the box. Smart idea right? I thought so too but not so fucking much, yup its now filled with milk remnants, well fuck, there goes a brand new box of cereal.

Youngest all pissed off and impatient as he loves his shit a certain way, I had to send the oldest for milk, thank god for licensed children some days! But if that kid could just close the front door without my walls shaking that would be fucking great too!

Only two kids are up so far cannot wait for the others to open their eyes (insert serious amount of sarcasm here)

Milk arrived, poured and cereal served now equals an unhappy child as he says there is too many cheerios versus the amount of corn pops he poured. Five bites later he is full. (insert my eyes rolling to the back of my head)

Yup all that chaos for five fucking bites of food!

At least he is fed and slightly less miserable at the moment.

Seriously though………

WTF Wednesday WTF!!!!!

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Ahhhhh yes, the hump in the week that is always challenging, annoying and exhausting! The day that continues to be a state of what the fuck.

Last night when I fell asleep around midnight the boys were still up, in true fashion of me my mid-morning bathroom run was about four thirty. Wouldn’t you fucking know it, the boys still wide awake. These little shits should be a fucking ball of sunshine when they get up *eye roll*

I’ve been trying to get the daughter back on a regular sleep pattern. I thought I had won the fucking battle last night. She stayed up most the day falling asleep around four in the afternoon and still asleep when I went to bed. It was a fucking fail. Turns out she has now been up since about five this morning, with some luck and poking to keep her up it might happen. Eventually, maybe, fuck, probably not.

Outside has officially become a winter fucking wonderland. Oh yes, woke up to about two inches of the white shit the sky decided to puke up through the night. It looks beautiful but what a bunch of shit, I did not pack for fucking winter. I’m told most people who visit Manitoba pack for it in July or August. That would’ve been good fuckimg info to have before I left. Time to fucking hibernate.

Is it bedtime yet? I feel like I could use a break already from today. I guess I’ll just have to down some extra caffeine and suck it the fuck up. Fingers crossed it goes quick, the kids don’t wake miserable and the daughter sleeps tonight.

Ugh what the fuck Wednesday, you did me good for a couple weeks now this? I had high hopes we were going to be best friends soon.

It’s Fuck It Friday!

Standing in the far right corner weighing in at the end of the long week…..Fffffuuuuccccckkkk iiitttt…in the far left corner weighing in…Fffrrriiidddaaayyyy!!!!! ***applause***

That’s right! Let them get together for Fuck It Friday! The only day you can forget all the shit you have not done and just chill.

Well, it fucking snowed in Manitoba last night! Ugh! Just a light dusting of the white shit fell but honestly I did not pack winter gear. Yup fucking mom fail there. So fuck it, we are going to hibernate in the house and keep warm.

At some point the heater went out on the trailer, bbbbrrrrr mother fucker! The poor baby boy wrapped himself so tight in a blanket I thought he was going to emerge a fucking butterfly. Wouldn’t that be fanfuckintastic? A sweet little butterfly, oh the dream. Even though he will be miserable as ever fuck it, I’m waking the shithead up, unwrapping him and off to the house to go back to sleep. One of the family will fix that shit, god knows I am not mechanically inclined for that.

With the snow and no heat, fuck it coffee and movies, maybe I will do my laundry lord knows I’m running low only having brought a week worth. Hhhmmm, fuck it, I’m not naked yet. Haha, I am joking, that shit has to hang dry if I don’t do it now I will be naked plus it is one quick load.

The family is putting together a walk, run, crawl (yes some will depending on alcohol consumption prior lol) whatever and however each makes it the 5km. I signed up but fuck I haven’t done anything further than the couch to the bathroom in years, I should probably get some practice in. Haha, fuck it, I might need someone to piggy back me through to the end. I have no intention of practicing.

My day is just getting started, I’m sure I’ll find new shit to say fuck it to. What is your fuck it Friday list? Anything fun? Don’t be shy nobody will judge, we all say fuck it here.

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

It is the mid week hump, doing me the wrong way again. Not terribly so far, just certain aspects.

I can tell it is this day as my sleep sucked ass and I feel ready for bed already. I’ve only just opened my eyes too.

I’ve been staying out in the country in Manitoba since Saturday, I fucking love it here. The family set up a huge camper trailer for the kids and I just down the property. Couldn’t ask for anything better. Last night I was out there watching movies with the boys and in true me fashion I fucking pass out! Although it did not last long.

I had to walk back n forth probably ten fucking times with them before I passed out. They either forgot an item or forgot to give hugs and kisses goodnight, needed food and just anything else their tiny little minds could fucking think of.

Little did I know until this morning the shitheads snuck out shortly after my snoring started and ended up in the house bugging everyone. Going to have get a dead bolt or alarm installed to keep the brats in there apparently. I heard nothing when they fucking snuck out. It had to of been after midnight, ugh.

The daughter in her true fashion has been up all fucking night. When I got in the house she was eating a banana. It had some bruising in a spot which she said was gross as she licked it! Yup fucking licked it to check. Then she scrapes the bruised part off puts it in her mouth and bites a good part. I dunno what the fuck that was about but at least she isn’t wasting food.

So far the boys are still passed out, not surprising as I think it was close to four in the fucking morning before they actually settled and stopped going in and out of the trailer. As much as I want to wake their ass’s up and make them suffer for not sleeping, I don’t want to deal with their crabby attitudes.

So instead I will drink coffee, enjoy some country side and some fucking silence!

Then I will nap later, fucking what the fuck Wednesday!

It’s Fuck It Friday!

Get the fuck its’ rolling, like the river flowing through the tree covered mountains. Let them go, watch life get just a little bit better releasing that shit!

My all time favorite day of the week, where saying fuck it never gets old and the finger never tires of being flipped.

This last week I have been preparing to head out of town with the 3 youngest babies. A fourteen hour car ride with two adhd boys, my daughter and my very good friend who is coming to help drive. Thank fucking gawd if I had to go it alone I may not survive lol. Still my nerves have been on the edge, I have not gone anywhere alone in ten years, wish us luck as we embark and fuck it to my nerves being a bitch! I am a big beautiful badass bitch and can fucking do anything. (My daily pep talk haha)

The youngest this morning has been a bit of an asshole, he wedged himself in the couch and yelled he is hungry while his food sits on the table. I am about to say fuck it and leave him there until he decides to get out. He isn’t really stuck he is just doing it to be a shithead.

My house could use a fucking pressure wash cleaning before I leave. Not that I haven’t really kept up with it but walls n shit need a good scrub. Fuck it, I won’t be here to see it so whatever!

I have been procrastinating packing, all fucking week, the kids are packed but I am not. If I could say fuck it I would but if I do I’m going naked. Hhmmm, maybe I wont pack haha! Yeah right, nobody wants to see that shit, fuck it, I will pack.

Once it is done I am so taking a nap, kids have no school and there will be nothing left to get ready. So fuck it, this bitch needs sleep.

I’m open to tips for this upcoming road trip if anyone has some, drop them, if not fuck it, I’ll figure that shit out along the way.

Have a wonderful fuck it Friday. Do something that makes you happy but uncomfortable it’ll be worth it!

It’s Fuck It Friday!

Get the fuck its’ rolling, like the river flowing through the tree covered mountains. Let them go, watch life get just a little bit better releasing that shit!

My all time favorite day of the week, where saying fuck it never gets old and the finger never tires of being flipped.

This last week I have been preparing to head out of town with the 3 youngest babies. A fourteen hour car ride with two adhd boys, my daughter and my very good friend who is coming to help drive. Thank fucking gawd if I had to go it alone I may not survive lol. Still my nerves have been on the edge, I have not gone anywhere alone in ten years, wish us luck as we embark and fuck it to my nerves being a bitch! I am a big beautiful badass bitch and can fucking do anything. (My daily pep talk haha)

The youngest this morning has been a bit of an asshole, he wedged himself in the couch and yelled he is hungry while his food sits on the table. I am about to say fuck it and leave him there until he decides to get out. He isn’t really stuck he is just doing it to be a shithead.

My house could use a fucking pressure wash cleaning before I leave. Not that I haven’t really kept up with it but walls n shit need a good scrub. Fuck it, I won’t be here to see it so whatever!

I have been procrastinating packing, all fucking week, the kids are packed but I am not. If I could say fuck it I would but if I do I’m going naked. Hhmmm, maybe I wont pack haha! Yeah right, nobody wants to see that shit, fuck it, I will pack.

Once it is done I am so taking a nap, kids have no school and there will be nothing left to get ready. So fuck it, this bitch needs sleep.

I’m open to tips for this upcoming road trip if anyone has some, drop them, if not fuck it, I’ll figure that shit out along the way.

Have a wonderful fuck it Friday. Do something that makes you happy but uncomfortable it’ll be worth it!

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Haha, midweek mind blowing shit to the forefront please.

Yup, the day of the week I fucking dread arrives, yet again, to keep life interesting or so I try to convince myself anyway. This morning actually was quite… ummm… unique? Yup, let’s go with that. It must be a new moon, blue moon, hell froze the fuck over last night.

My kids were good this morning! I mean like there was nothing fucking going wrong good. *poof* that was my brain exploding from what the fuck just happened.

They all got up, ate, took their meds and got out the door without even one single fucking incident of anything! There was nothing! I didn’t have to fight, yell, or repeat myself at all. I was lost with what to do with my extra time I had. *poof* mind gone.

The nine year old even packed lunches! I jokingly asked him if he wanted to and the little fucking cutie jumped up and did it! *poof* mind blown. Then he got the backpacks and lunch kits! *poof* I don’t think I have much mind left to blow!

This shit is a what the fuck Wednesday for the books, mark it on the wall, sign me up for this shit everyday please!

I don’t want it to end! Fingers crossed it is a turning point with them. Now to go run errands!

Happy what the fuck Wednesday!

Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

Another week come and gone! How the fuck is time flying by so fast?

Yesterday was a non fuck it, fuck it Friday! I had so much shit that I had to do. I was on the go from first thing in the morning until six pm when I passed out on the couch snoring like a mother fucker!

But…. on the plus side it is a new day and I’ve got a nice little poem. This was written for my boys who are always a struggle to get to school for one reason or another.

No, no, no!

Night went by and morning came
Mommy says “it’s time to wake”

With my eyes half open I yell to her
“No no no just go away”

Mommy says “you can’t stay,
School time my little babe”

Rolling over I bury my face, I yell to her “No no no I want to sleep”

Mommy says “get up get changed,
Time to dress in something clean”

Not looking at my clean clothes, I yell to her “No no no Those dont fit”

Mommy says “time to eat, feed that brain before you leave”

Without a thought I yell too her “no no no I do not want that”

Mommy says “ok that’s fine, I’ll send it with you just this time”

But I don’t want to take it either, I yell to her ” no no no, thats just gross”

Mommy says “ok let’s go, coat, bags, shoes and out the door”

But that just doesn’t work for me, I yell to her “no no no leave me be”

Mommy says “school starts soon, we can not be late”

But I don’t want to go, I yell to her “no no no I am staying home”

When I get there I am not ok, I yell to her “no no no I love you stay”

Mommy says “you’ll be alright, time to learn and be polite”

I just want to go back home, I scream and cry “no no no don’t leave me alone”

Mommy says “there’s lots here for you, you will have fun and learn lots too”

Mommy sits and waits with me, until I’m ready for her to leave.

I wipe my tears and strut my stuff, off to class is a must.

I might arrive just a little late but the teacher says it is ok.

I find my desk and take a seat and the day goes by very quickly.

The days usually suck to get them there but they always chill out and enjoy it. Thank gawd is a weekend though and I don’t have to deal with that shit today!

Happy Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Ohhhhh my hump is bigger than a camel with extra sacs to hold water! That’s right what the fuck Wednesday is ….. well what the fuck!

Now, for real, this shit is not bad! It is actually an intense positive what the fuck! Minus a few things that do suck.

There’s the usual kids were assholes to get off to school, but this, this surpasses that and I still cannot fathom it myself.

Want to know my most fanfuckintastic news? No? Too bad for you I’m going to share it anyway suck it up buttercup!

Alright, as most know and if you didn’t you will now, my two youngest boys have ailments that can be hard to handle, hard to accommodate and just plain fucking hard! ADHD, ODD, DMDD, expressive/ receptive delays and educational delays. With this year being as shitty as it has I asked my family doctor to help me apply for the government disability tax credit and…..

Drumroll…..they have been approved! So fucking exciting! Not only does this help set up their future for support, it also helps set up financial support for medical care and special accommodations for their education they need right now!

It took me three years to get this done, their pediatrician said they would never qualify but our family doctor has known their struggles since day one and that is what made the difference to being approved! So to parents who think they won’t get the support just because the pediatrician says so, I say fuck that! Give it a try, you never know until you know.

There is no better what the fuck Wednesday than this. I doubt it will ever be beat.

I’m going to go soak in the most amazing news now with a hot cup of sweet as fucking java! That picture is a legit big ass fucking smile for what the fuck Wednesday!

Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

Well it is official, I need to start writing new shit!

Recent events have me thinking a lot about my babies, how they always need to know I will be there, they need to feel loved through every turn in life and need to never feel alone.

I have no title for this piece but I think it sums up a parents love quite fucking perfectly no matter the age of them.

I wish i could take it all away, the things you feel these dark days. The hurt the pain the uncertainties, things in life that do not please. Since I cannot I’ll be there for you, wiping away every tiny tear. Listening fully to what you need to say, the fears that just won’t go away. I will hold you tight in my arms, you can rest here I know it’s hard. It won’t always feel like this, I promise you that with a kiss. Days will be good and days will bad, you’re allowed to feel happy, angry, or sad. Don’t forget I’m right here, you’re not alone my sweet baby, my dear.

Although children can be the most resilient little creatures, they can also silently suffer as many of us do. Let them know, feel and understand your love is has no coming end.

Happy Shameless Self Promo Saturday! Spread the fucking love!!

Featured on……

Now I’ve never heard of this site but as I was checking it out after being tagged on twitter and them sharing my shit. This seems right up my alley!

Go have a look around, give shit a try you never know when you mind find something great, needed or loved!

Glad Dads | Fatherhood Advice, Tips, Stories, Gear and Book Reviews

http://www.gladdads.com/?m=1

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