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Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

Yes! Saturday! Shamelessly throwing my shit in your face haha. It is not like I don’t do this daily anyway but in the writing community it is the day we do it without anyone bitching about it really.

So here is my crap: you know you want it, it is fanfuckintastic crap!

My paperback order just arrived, exciting, I know. I have both volumes in stock. $15 CAD each with shipping in Canada, $20 CAD each with shipping in USA. You want them signed? sure I won’t even charge you. I think it is bullshit some people charge extra for this but that is just my opinion. I will even throw in a bookmark or 2 just in case the kids decide to do something stupid while you’re in the middle of reading it. Trust they probably will.

Wine tumblers in stock, drink that water, juice, alcohol whatever fancies you with a sweet little bit of my words of wisdom. $30 CAD each or 2 for $58 CAD. shipping is about $20 CAD per cup, I know I am sorry but I cannot control the fucking postal expenses. They suck!

Coffee mugs in stock, want that morning pick me up saying so you can feel better about the kids running around being assholes? I got yeah covered. These are honest little words of wisdom if you have kids you know they are no lie! $20 CAD each or 2 for $38 CAD. Again shipping is $20 CAD per, I get it that seems like a rip off and I agree but they are worth it.

If you made it through reading all that shit I threw at you, I thank you. Now one last thing.

I have a call for submissions for an LGBTQ+ anthology, this project is very dear to me. It is non-profit. I am investing my own money and proceeds will be donated. Please share my submissions, tell friends, family and colleagues. I only need 20 people to participate by the end of November.

Happy shamelessly self promoting all.

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Shameless Self Promo Saturday

This is going to be the most fucking epic shameless self promo Saturday EVER!

CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS IS LIVE! yes I am putting together a non-profit LGBTQ+ anthology. Go get the details from the submissions page! or click submissions. This is a project I am very excited and proud to be putting in place finally. It took me along time to figure out how to memorialize my father.

PAPERBACKS ON THE WAY! Finally, these beauties have left Amazon in print. I am extremely proud of my So You’re Not Supermom Series, I think they are fabulous but I am biased so find out for yourself. They are $15.00 CAD per book with shipping in Canada and $20.00 CAD per book with shipping in USA. You can also purchase ebooks for $0.99 on Amazon, Google Play Books, and Smashwords.

MUGS, BOOKMARKS & SHIT! My shop is open, I still have some inventory and the wine tumblers should be ready in a couple days. Unfortunately, shipping costs are slightly ridiculous for items and I have no control over that. Trust me I wish I did. But if you reside local to me I will deliver items.

ALL THE WRONG LOVE: Abuse, Betrayal, Forgiveness. This is my memoir, two years in the making and it is so close to being done I can feel the closure and healing. The story I share for my anthology project is a portion of this book. It looks into the depths of my life that stood hidden for a very long time.

That is it, told you it was epic. I am truly very lucky to have come as far as I have in my writing career. I can not wait to continue the growth. Especially sharing own voices from a beautiful community.

Happy Shameless Self Promo all.

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🍃🌻Sunshine Blogger Award🌻🍃

A very massive foul mouthed shout out to the most fucking amazing blogging supporter this bitch has. Ms Catarina at Beauty Of Cafe 205. Girl you fucking rock and I truly thank you for thinking of my random shit! You have been such a great follower to have in my life and please do not ever change! You are such a fucking joy with your comments.

The Sunshine Blogger Award is given to bloggers who inspire Positiveness and Creativity in the blogging community.

The Rules Are:

1. Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link to their blog.

2. List the rules.

3. Display the Sunshine Blogger Award Logo in your blog post.

4. Answer all 11 Questions asked of you by the blogger.

5. Nominate up to 11 New Bloggers to receive the Award and notify them.

6. Create 11 New Questions for your nominees.

Beauty of Cafe 205 Questions For Me

What was the one thing you disliked about quarantine? Has got to be wearing a mask at work all day every day especially since I fucking love my coffee and do not chew gum. This leave a very nasty coffee breath and nobody wants to smell that shit.

Taking trips after quarantine? Fuck I hope so, this mama needs a vacation after trying to home school seven kids, which I completely failed at. Can’t win them all.

Are you quitting your job? Shit I wish I could afford to.

Are you still going to do what you had planned before all this? Well, I really did not have anything planned except camping and that is opening back up, sort of, nature is my home, someone fucking take me home please!

Plain dark coffee or cappuccino? Does a cappuccino have sugar? Can’t handle sweet ass coffee if it does.

What did you like about being at home with your loved ones? Being able to nap, nothing like a good midday sleep to perk my ass up.

What was the funniest movie you watched on Netflix? I do think I even turned that crap on in months.

Why did you start blogging? So I can rant shit that pisses me off as a working parent with the hope other parents can feel not so alone in the struggles.

When did you start blogging? Some time around 2 months ago, I think, maybe, fuck pregnancy brain never goes away.

Favorite quarantine dish you made? Every dish that came from an app on my phone and randomly showed up in front of my door, I probably took too many days off not cooking a damn thing.

Leave a link of your favorite blog post from your blog Shameless Self Promo Book 2 Preview

My Nominees CHERRYWRITES THEBOOKMUSTER SECONDTIMEAROUNDHOMESTEAD ELOISASNOTSOSECRETDIARY TOKENART HANGINGWITHAMANDA THEBOOKFLING ALLINTHISMOMENT LUREVIEWSBOOKS RACHTALKSBUSINESS TESSABARRIE

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It’s Fuck It Friday!

I survived, fuck it has been a week for sure! See what I did there? lol Another week coming to a close with a couple days off after today. Another Friday to say fuck it to all the things I still did not accomplish and just revel in the fact that I made it.

I even get to say fuck it to working all day today as I have an appointment that is allowing me to leave at noon. I am excited for that shit . Can you tell?

My daughter is up at six am, apparently has not slept all night playing on her electronics and my fuck it mode said if you are awake to bug me the least you can do is make me a coffee. She gladly did and it is a pretty fucking tasty coffee. She literally just asked for chocolate cookies, fuck it! go ahead, you made me coffee.

As I am going to be off early today, there will be a fuck it I am taking a nap too! I miss my naps, that was always the best part of being off work.

Oh yes Fuck It Friday is the day you can say fuck it to the shit you have put on hold and just relax! If you need help to make a fuck it list just do it like this.

dishes=fuck it, laundry=fuck it, cleaning=fuck it, cooking=fuck it. Yes take everything on that list and add fuck it beside it. Done, you may even thank me for it, the fuck it attitude is a lot less stressful and we all need less stress in life right now.

Happy Fuck It Friday!

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It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Ahhh yes, the mid week hump has arrived and bestowed itself upon the world again. I am pretty sure this what the fuck Wednesday started on Monday this week. It has already been such a long fucking week with uphill battles from the start.

Emotions and attitude have been running high as fuck around every aspect of me and it is down right exhausting! Not just my kids, but with work, people at their work, everything! It must be something in the fucking planetary alignments screwing with shit!

I was so run down from the last two days I slept all night! Literally, I did not even get up to pee like I normally do, I heard nothing from the youngest all night, hopefully he slept and did not get into shit. I didn’t hear the dogs bark when the oldest returned last night from his friends house either. You can always tell when a parent has drained themselves to nothing as they actually sleep undisturbed.

I am now up slightly early, still feeling tired as fuck for work. Sitting in the silence of the house just dreading today after the last two days of bullshit from the world around me. I can only hope that the hump of this week allows shit to start settling down. You know like a roller coaster, it ramps up to the top and then just slides to bottom and levels the fuck out where you can finally breath. Yeah that is what I need.

I need to fucking breath, I need this ride to just chill the fuck out. So far the only good thing that has happened is my lovely shirt and beautiful note that arrived! Ellie you totally made my week, cannot wait to wear the shit out that shirt!

Happy What The Fuck Wednesday all, may your ride be ending if it has been a week!

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It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Today’s What the Fuck Wednesday must be some kind of calm before the storm. I had a great sleep. I am only up about an hour before my alarm and the the house is quiet. I mean dead fucking quiet.

This has got to be due to having no kids! That’s right absolutely no fucking kids. Alllll week.

How did I get so fucking lucky? Well sometimes being a blended family is nice, I can split them up into directions and with different people and my house falls eerily fucking silent. Let’s be honest nobody in their right mind wants seven kids at once if they didn’t make them.

It does not happen often and I actually have a horrible time dealing with it as i am not used to it.

But I do attempt to enjoy it as well. I do not have to cook, clean, yell, chase or fight any kids and have done nothing the last three days. For real I have accomplished fuck all on all levels, it is fantastic, as well as odd.

While my morning is calm, my night was rested there is still a day of work and tonight for something to happen. I am not being a downer just a realist.

Just to make my What the Fuck Wednesday even better I am going throw in the fact I now have official So You’re Not Supermom….It’s Ok! coffee mugs up for grabs. Get in touch if interested. They are $20 CAD each plus shipping which determining shipping is on my list of shit to do this week.

Happy What the Fuck Wednesday all. Have a fanfuckintastic one!

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Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

Well I did not post on fuck it Friday, it was part of my fuck it list, a very long list this week. As I was exhausted and spent the evening after work trying to get my kids to clean. Nasty little creatures they are. Gawd I love them though.

A new day and another Saturday to bring on the sweet ass promoting though.

With two books out now of So You’re Not Supermom….It’s Ok! I am not sure which one to put a bit of for today but i did receive a couple more readings from hunnygoddess and you can check those here and here. If paperback is your style get in touch I have a shipment coming!

So I am going throw out something different. This will be in my upcoming memoir later this year. A look into the depths of my life. This is a much lighter section of it, there is some heavy fucking shit in this book.

“At the time I don’t believe any of us truly understood. We were all so young, under the age of about ten. The mentality and comprehension at our ages were not developed enough to realize or make such a decision.
Even today, it is a hard situation that cannot easily be understood or explained. As sat we all agreed that it would be awesome, that we were all okay with it and so the decision was made.
My father was always there for us. He started his journey transitioning into a female. He would still raise us with our mom and life would continue as per usual. At least that was the lie we were told and thought, but it didn’t end that way.
Not long down the life path we moved to a small trailer next to my first school and, of all things, a fucking taxidermy. It was traumatizing.
My room stood to the back of the trailer and out the window the only view was piles of bones. They were stacked against the side of the taxidermy building next door and strewn through the small patch of grass between us. Some of them still fresh enough to have slight remains of flesh and meat, while others had been there for so long they were breaking and decaying. If you want to give a kid nightmares, you’d live there.
Living here had its ups and downs for all of us. Our school was right next door, and that was nice. Things seemed good. Nobody knew us, nobody knew of the transition yet, and we continued on with life.
Until that one day, I still sit here wondering what the fuck it was about. I can only speculate that it had something to do with my dad’s choice to transition. In the nineties, such things didn’t happen in the public eye. Nobody made it known, and you definitely did not do it in a small hick town where all things new and unknown were rejected.”

An excerpt from All The Wrong Love. Abuse Betrayal Forgiveness A Memoir.

Happy Shameless Self Promo Saturday! Show me what you got and drop a comment below with yours!

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It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!!

Honestly, when I went to bed last night I thought this Wednesday would be different. You know since it is only technically a fucking Tuesday for the work week as it was a long weekend. But I was wrong! So very fucking wrong.

Now I still to this what the fuck Wednesday have not figured out why this is the day of the week that is always ridiculously fucking stupid. I have tried it all to not have it happen but fuck me, it always finds a way to be shit!

So here we go my what the fuck Wednesday morning in a nutshell.

It all began on my middle of night pee. 2 AM today, again as I rise from the depth of a decent sleep after having gone to bed early, I make my way upstairs. Ah silence! That is until the youngest yet again calls into the depths of the dark of the hallway from his bedroom.

Heeellooooooo! Who’s there? Mom? Mom?

That little shit knows it’s me I am the only one who gets up at any point throughout the night besides him.

As he exits his room, I hear it, mom I’m hungry. Well of course he is! He’s awake and refused to eat at dinner time which is not unusual and he ate around 9 PM before bed due to his ADHD medications.

Ugh, get a snack and go back to bed already! Well if he didn’t bring me a cold peach tea from the fridge.

Can I have this? Fuck NO! You can not. A: that is not food and B: it has enough caffiene in it to keep you up for days! Food! pick something that requires chewing!

So, he decides on macaroni salad, now he takes forever to eat, like one fucking noodle at a time forever. As I waited for him to finish to get him back to bed, being a woman kicks in. Shoot me now, I swear the older I get the worse it is!

Alright, back in bed, curled up in a fetal position, trying to sleep took a couple hours, alarm goes off, fuck!!!!

Get up do my usual, coffee, meditation, get dressed, pack for work, where the fuck did my keys go?

Yay, seek the keys! What the hell did the 15 year old do with them? He surely didn’t hang them on the key rack where they fucking belong because you know, why the fuck would he do that?

Twenty minutes later after emptying the entire purse, which I should probably clean out, there’s a lot of shit in there, I find them! Ugh off to work, tired, crampy and miserable.

What the Fuck Wednesday? Why do you have to be such a bitch every week?

I give up. I am just going to go with the WTF flow.

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Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

Oh, yes, another day to fill my feeds with the crap I have published. Today I get to fill it with two sets. Yes, there is officially two books of the shit I spew out now. I know what you might be thinking, how is it possible to have that much? Well seven kids is how.

The good part is, if you enjoyed the first set of shit then you will enjoy the second because it is literally the same just new ones.

You do not have to have kids, be a mom or a woman at all, men count too you know and as the reviews from all types say it is at the very least a good fucking laugh.

So need a laugh? Then buy the fucking books lol. $0.99 each, you can get both cheaper than a cup of coffee and they are great to read with coffee. Mmmmmmm coffee, I am off to make myself some.

Book 1: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CG5JCPY

Book 2: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0871TJW55

Feel free to drop your self promo links in the comments. Happy promoting!

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It’s Fuck It Friday!

This one is brought to you by the letter S. The word of the day is Sleepless. Yes sleepless as it has been a sleepless fucking night.

Youngest boy refused to sleep last night, up, down, hungry, playing, drinks, bathroom, you fucking name it he had it all covered. To this moment he still has not passed out, I wish I had half his fucking energy. I figured for sure he would be in lala land by now, but nope, his ADHD is strong and going hard since yesterday. I even tried melatonin which usually does the trick except last night.

So fuck it Friday is equal to absolutely nothing getting done and naps!

Oh there will be naps today outside of that my demeanor truly is fuck it!

I have both clean and dirty laundry piled but fuck it. Dishes that require to be unloaded and loaded into the dishwasher but fuck it. Bathrooms that need to be cleaned but fuck it. Meals that need to be cooked tonight but fuck it.

It’s a long weekend and all that shit can wait and food can be ordered, thank god that is still available to me. This mama is on a fuck it Friday roll and I have no shame in it after a long week of work, kids and cooking.

What are you going to say fuck it to on this lovely, long weekend Friday?

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It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Good fucking morning! It is that wonderful time of the week. You know how I know?

Well, middle of the night last night I woke up to use the bathroom. Really that happens every night, my bladder is not the same after being used as a fucking punching bag through six pregnancies but as I was up I thought all were asleep.

The house was quiet, went to take dogs out and I begin to hear, hellooo, hellooooo, who’s there? The youngest fucking wide awake doing an eerily creepy call into the dark abyss of the house.

Now, I figured if I ignored him he would go back to bed. So I take the dogs out. Turn around in the dark to see his face up against the screen door looking out. Not going to lie, slight fucking heart attack there from the little shit.

Moooom, he whispers, I’m hungry. For fuck sake it’s 1 AM get a snack and go to bed. He gets a snack, goes to bed. Okay, good to go back to bed. Nope.

He then decides to come and make it known he needs a shirt. For real he had a fucking shirt on while asking. There was nothing wrong with it, he just did not want to sleep. Like fuck, I was not about to rummage through laundry it was nearly 1:30 AM now. Finally, I convinced him to go back to bed and went myself.

I hate the half awake, half asleep state it’s bullshit. Next thing I know I am wide awake early! Before my fucking alarm for work! I mean, I love seeing a good sunrise but not when sleep eluded me and I am now back to work.

Now this mama is off to work with bloodshot sleepless eyes and not enough caffeine in the fucking world.

How’s your what the fuck Wednesday?

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It’s A Fuck It Friday Giveaway!

Well the week has ended and Mother’s Day is just around the corner. So this fuck it Friday I have decided fuck it, I want to make some other mama’s happy and give them a good laugh at shit. In order to do that I am hosting 3 giveaways for book 1.

Just so you know you don’t #struggle alone in #parenting.

I will choose 5 mama’s

The price of a card!

I am doing it on instagram @ JNSUPERMOM & Twitter @jess38049045 & Facebook @ https://www.facebook.com/jnsupermom/ for more chances…you can click the page names to go directly to them. Go like, share, or comment on the giveaway post to be entered. I will pick 5 from each platform giving more chances. I will draw names tomorrow night May 9 2020 around 6pm mountain time!

Just say Fuck it and enter you have nothing to lose but a chance to win.

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It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Oh for fuck sake! It’s Wednesday and it started early today. I mean like 4:30 AM fucking early.

Oh what a peaceful sleep it started out to be, until my ears started listening to the world around me. Hate when they do that shit!

Pew pew, take that. Nooooooo! Ahhhhhh! You can’t win. Raaahhhhh clash, smack, boom. You’re dead. Hahahahahaha!

What in the fuck? As my eyes fluttered and I rolled over to the edge of the bed. Plunking my feet on the ground, I grab my robe and head out to the war I can hear happening.

What do I fucking find? My youngest, playing battle of the guys, what the fuck, it’s 4:30 in the morning!

But I am not tired. I want to play. Can I have a snack? I am hungry.

Are you fucking kidding me? No it’s not time to play, grab a snack and get your ass in bed! Go to sleep for the love of all sanity! Or at least my fucking sanity!

Marched him upstairs, grabbed a snack, put him in bed. Then you know how it goes, you climb back in bed, laying there sort of awake and sort of asleep but neither really fucking happens.

6:45 rolls around, hubby’s alarm goes off, ugh, get out of bed again, haven’t even made it to the coffee maker yet and the fucking cat pukes all over the floor. Fuck me!

Of course dogs are nasty shit and love to eat it, so trying to keep dog away from the vomit pile while getting the paper towel and cleaner was fun. Walk backwards, point finger, repeat no. Ugh! Clean it up, dog sniffs around looking for morsels of vomit, nasty creatures.

Someone bring me some fucking coffee extra espresso shots, PLEASE. It is going to be a long what the fuck Wednesday!

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Marketing Monday!

Being an Indie Author is fucking hard work, we all put every bit of us into doing what we can. We are shameless, it’s fucking exhausting.

Therefore, you need to take advantage of things when you can. I came across a wonderful tweet the other day from Keisha Jones with Hunny Goddess Media who was looking for some Indie books to read on her story time platforms. She has done two sections of my book for free. Yes, free, which is fucking fabulous.

She offers to read a teaser of your work to help expand the audience and interest. If you’re looking for some support you can get in touch with her at hunnygoddessradio@gmail.com or http://www.eclecticallybalanced.com

She is a lovely person. While you’re at it you can check out what she has read of mine here and here.

Hope some of you find this useful and get in touch with this amazing lady. We all need to support each other however we can.

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Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

Here we are, Mother’s Day is coming and you want something extra fucking special! Well why not give her the gift of knowing she is not alone struggling to raise kids. So You’re Not Supermom….It’s OK! Rants of a foul mouthed mom is a fabulous little read to do just that.

Today’s excerpt is from Volume 2 on pre-order now, releases May 16th. Each Volume is only 99 cents on kindle. Cheaper than those flowers and cards your think might be good.

Are those clothes clean?
Laundry, a war nobody can ever fucking win when they have children.
You might get to the bottom of the pile but the second you turn your back?
BAM!
It’s right back up there, like you didn’t just wash ten fucking loads of the shit!
The most important question to ask about the clothing your kid wears?
Are they clean?
Yes, you want to make sure that the shit you are putting on or using is in fact clean.
My house is absolutely fucking famous for mixing the freshly washed laundry with the nasty shit they just rolled around in all day!
But when you find something clean well it might not actually be fucking clean!
Just the other day I took a clean towel out of the laundry, it looked fresh and smelled fresh.
Yes, I smell the clean laundry!
I have animals and kids!
I need to make sure that shit is clean!
Anyway, I took it out, had my shower and as I was drying off with it, I could see spots of glitter on parts of my body.
No choice now but to finish drying with it.
I’ll be damned if by the end of it, I didn’t look like a fucking unicorn who doused themselves in fairy dust!
That shit was head to toe on me and I sparkled in the sun!
It was ridiculous!
I’m pretty sure it was washed with something of my daughter’s.
You know one of those super cute outfits that sparkle and look all girlie?
Yah, one of those fucking things!
Anytime you reach into those nice clean clothes just make sure they are clean!
It might be glitter filled, dirt filled or food filled, you just never know what you’re going to get.
Don’t stress though just throw it into the dirty pile you tried washing earlier!
Then reach in and grab something else!
Just keep on going until you find something actually clean.
Why?
Because you can’t and won’t win against laundry.
It will always get mixed up!
It will never fucking end!
As long as you and them go out smelling and looking clean in what you have on, then you have won that battle!
That’s all you needed to do!
Just win that moments battle!
Because the war on laundry can’t be won.

Words of Wisdom
Even if it looks or
smells clean
Does not mean it is

If you made it the end of this thank you!

Get Volume 1 here

Get Volume 2 here

As well a go fund me is raising funds for my dear friend, please share any all support here

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Friday Friendship!

Okay lovely people of the world. I would ordinarily do Fuck It Friday but today is different.

As I mentioned a few days ago in memory monday post a very dear friend of mine had to do the most heartbreaking fucking news to her babies. Their father passed away suddenly at work of a heart attack.

Now she is left to raise 3 kids (15,13,10) on her own and assume all the financial costs for funeral, and whatever else comes her way.

I know the world is a shit place right now and things are fucking falling apart for so many. All I am asking is that you at least share this for me. Please I am fucking begging you. She is the most wonderful amazing person and without her I would not be where I am today.

This woman does so much, she needs a hand up. Thank you to any who share, donate, send messages whatever.

You can view the go fund me page here.

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It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

This mornings what the fuck Wednesday is brought to you by, interruption! Ah yes, they love to just come and mess around. At least today it was a good laugh!

I get up early, like five or six in the morning early, I like my fucking coffee with silence and meditation. I do this purposely as my kids are lazy little shits and typically sleep in since there is no school. Of course it did not happen this morning because it is fucking Wednesday!

Smack dab in the middle of meditation the eleven year old wakes, of course, why not? She can’t control when she gets up but she could control bugging me. She just fucking chooses not to. So there I am coffee in hand, trying to do my meditation in peace and she starts talking. As if I can hear a fucking thing, I throw my hands up at her to say so.

All of a sudden she starts acting out ques for charades, okay, this is can do lol. So as she goes along, arms up, arms down, shake yes, shake no, I can not help but start laughing. She gives me the snobby ass preteen look and heads to the kitchen counter. What the fuck for is funnier than shit!

As I watch her, she begins reading the labels of the cleaners I left there. Scoops one up, reads another, scoops that one up and by the time she is ready to head back to me her arms are full. I mean she had like four fucking products, I couldn’t help but giggle!

Walking back to the couch, her arms full, I pause my music and snap photos, yes I am that mom!. She starts setting them down, she begins pointing out certain letters on each, well fuck me! I was laughing so hard at how she went about this there was snorts, tears and fucking laughter for a good ten minutes.

Then I realize three things, first off I should teach her some word scramble she could’ve just used one product bottle, second that girl really needs to work on her spelling and third I need my kids back in school so that I don’t have to teach her either of those fucking things.

Once I figured out what it was, she threw herself back on the couch looking like she had just run a fucking marathon! Then pleased with herself for getting it done and me laughing so fucking hard, she went back to bed. Oh man this is gonna be a long ass year!

I can’t wait for the others to get up, I can only hope they are as entertaining on this What The Fuck Wednesday as she was.

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It’s A Monday Memory Day

Alright, this one might slap you hard in the feels, make your eyes tear or cause you to reminisce on something that really fucking sucked.

This past weekend I was reminded that life is short, too fucking short for some. My very good, loving, amazing friend had to tell her children their father passed. All I want to do is go hold her until the pain she feels subsides, to wipe her tears and just fucking be there and I can’t. It kills me, so I am going to do what I do best and share my writing.

I wrote the piece of poetry below around the nine year mark of the loss of my father. I hope that it can be related to for anyone who has suffered through such an event. It’s not fucking easy.

Dreams of those lost
are how they come back to us
As i walk among the silent grounds
Passing all the etched polished stones
I look for you left unmarked
A secret path only in my heart
The trees above shading us
I lay myself down to a rest
Seeking solice atop the grass
I have but only one thing to ask
Please come back just one more time
I miss your guidance in this life
I need you now more than ever
I want just one more day together
A single kiss and hug goodbye
An embrace only you can provide
Just once more to hear you say
I love you my angel, you’ll be okay

Tell the people you love that you fucking love them while you can. Time is not guaranteed to any of us. Make the best of it.

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Shameless Self Promo Saturday

Well it is that time people to shamelessly self promote your shit! I have decided to give you a ranting glimpse inside the wonderful bullshit of raising kids from So You’re Not Supermom…It’s OK! Rants of a foul mouthed mom Volume 1.

Let’s be honest the crap you download from the book previews online fucking suck!

Do Ends Meet?
One of the absolute hardest, most defeating parts of raising kids is making ends meet!
You rob Peter, fuck Paul because the kids need to eat.
You rob Paul, fuck Peter because the kids are sick.
You take a loan to pay a loan to get another fucking loan because the utilities are going to be disconnected.
You beg, borrow and steal in every way possible just to realize you’re fucked for another month.
You stand in line at the food bank hoping you don’t run into anyone else you know because your shame and guilt of having to be there is too much.
You stop eating most days and lie to your children that you’re not hungry to ensure they are full before you even go near what’s left on the stove.
You go to bed stressed and crying and you wake stressed and crying not knowing where you’ll find the cash.
You feel like shit while you do it because you feel like you have to.
Yes this is making ends meet in the life of raising kids.

It is all perfectly fine!
I fucking dread bills! Those bastards get paid and by the time that happens the next bastards need to be fucking paid!
Well guess what world?
MY ASS IS NOT A BANK MACHINE!
I CANNOT JUST SWIPE AND PULL!
If you have kids that all made sense and if don’t have kids yet, well it will when you do.
I’m starting to believe nobody ever gets ahead on these things, they never end, they just keep fucking coming!
The good news is since bills will always be there it’s perfectly fine to rob one for the other!
To skip that payment for what your child needs.
To rob a bill just enough to get the little buggars enough food to eat the following month.
The reason?

You put that little human being first!
You are still providing what they need when it’s needed.
You are still a great parent even though you don’t feel like it.
You made it work!
You made it another day, week or month without the kids having to starve or continue to be sick or whatever.
You can now rest easy for a bit knowing all this.
Don’t forget it was you!
You beautiful parent!

Words of Wisdom
Money can’t buy everything
It only buys wants, not needs

If you made it this far down the page feel free to shamelessly drop your Saturday Self Promo Shit! Then share it, follow, and repeat! If you found this crap as good as I do you can snag it for $0.99 here or free on kindle unlimited.

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Fuck It Friday!

Ooohhhh, it is my favorite day of the long ass week! Fuck it Friday.

The kids have been absolute gems all week, everything went perfectly, you worked, you cleaned, you cooked, oh my gawd, who the fuck am I trying to lie to? It was shit none of that really happened! But………

Wahoo! you all survived the chaos of the days before, it is Friday the sun is fucking shining, birds are chirping and the day has only begun. I am two coffees in and the kids are still in a state of slumber, man Friday is great.

So what does fuck it Friday mean? Well it means fuck it!

That’s right all those things you think you have to do fuck it.

Laundry piled up?, fuck it. Dishes need to be washed?, fuck it. Kids are trying to beat each other?, fuck it (for real, let them figure out how to deal with their own shit, we are not gonna be here forever.)

Want to binge Netflix?, fuck yeah, do it! Want to take a nap?, that is the absolute fucking best, lay your ass down, you deserve it. Want to pour that drink or crack that beer at one o’clock in the beaming sun?, shit it is always five o’clock somewhere, do it! Don’t want to cook?, no worries teach the kids, it’s about time their ass’s learn how or order in, both fantastic options on a Friday!

Today, all those are my Fuck it Friday list, I have no shame in it either! I work hard to take one day a week and say Fuck it, to everything.

What’s on the docket for your Fuck it Friday?

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Thursday’s Unpleasant Thoughts!

I just spent the last two hours listening to my mother talk about her preparation for death! How she is putting money away for this and that, the codes to access everything, the lay out of her will, and all that shit! As if she is going to fucking die any day soon. She is way too stubborn for that shit to happen.

But it got me thinking of when I found my dad passed away in his hospital bed, slumped off the edge, only feet from the nurses station and the shit that followed that dreadful fucking experience of loss. He had nothing. Nothing saved, nothing in order, nothing laid out and it was all left to us children to figure out what the fuck to do on our own.

These processes of life are less than fucking pleasant thoughts to have but in some strange way are so very necessary in ones life. Now how the fuck do you go about crap that you know must inevitably deal with but have no clue how to deal with? Well I don’t fucking know either so if anyone has any advice I would love some.

The only one thing I have ever put in place is life insurance to ensure my little shits do not have to break their banks worrying about how to cover the costs of my demise. That is it, I am not old, but over the last few years a lot of those I have grown up have been taken in untimely ways. I am also not very young anymore either, kind of just fucking stuck in the middle of life.

Maybe it is time to get my own shit together. It is bound to happen eventually, it is inevitable that we all must lay our asses to rest for good at some point.

Yup, that is Thursday’s Unpleasant Thoughts!

Maybe next week I will have something better to spew out of my fucking head. Or at least less dark and disturbing would be just great.

Then again maybe not!

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It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Ah yes, it must be fucking Wednesday! Sun isn’t shining, kids are miserable, I am only two fucking coffees in and already I would love to go curl back up into bed!

WTF Wednesday is in full swing this week! How do I know? Well within this very short time of being up, waking my youngest made him absolutely fucking miserable, not a little miserable but to the core everything is pissing him off!

I had to wake him early to ensure he got his ADHD meds today, I could not handle another day of him sleeping in and it being too late for meds to be administered where he literally climbs the fucking walls. I mean literally!

Meds in, not without a fight he went to get himself cereal, not much milk left, which is a typical thing in my house. He however, is throwing a tantrum over it. He poured way too big of a bowl and me not wanting to waste food I went to dump some back in the box. Smart idea right? I thought so too but not so fucking much, yup its now filled with milk remnants, well fuck, there goes a brand new box of cereal.

Youngest all pissed off and impatient as he loves his shit a certain way, I had to send the oldest for milk, thank god for licensed children some days! But if that kid could just close the front door without my walls shaking that would be fucking great too!

Only two kids are up so far cannot wait for the others to open their eyes (insert serious amount of sarcasm here)

Milk arrived, poured and cereal served now equals an unhappy child as he says there is too many cheerios versus the amount of corn pops he poured. Five bites later he is full. (insert my eyes rolling to the back of my head)

Yup all that chaos for five fucking bites of food!

At least he is fed and slightly less miserable at the moment.

Seriously though………

WTF Wednesday WTF!!!!!

Blogger Recognition Award!

I have so very much love and respect for the amazing Beauty of Cafe not only for nominating me but for always showing so much fucking love and support towards me and the shit that spews out.If there ever was a year to be grateful for the little things it’s this one.

You want the low down on the goods from local and small business owners for wonderful products them go smash her follow button. For real you won’t regret that shit.

The Rules:

  1. Thank the blogger that nominated you & provide a link to their site
  2. Do a blog post about this award
  3. Give a brief summary about how you started your blog
  4. Give two pieces of advice for any new blogger
  5. Select at least 15 other bloggers for this award
  6. Let each nominee know you’ve nominated them & provide them with your link to your post

HOW I STARTED THIS SHIT….

Well, the honest answer? I like to have a place where I can vent frustrations of raising my kids. It’s not easy, every parent knows that and it’s even fucking harder when you feel so alone struggling to do it.

ADVICE FOR THE NEW….

It doesn’t fucking matter what you write about as long as you are true to yourself. Every word is worth it someone, you just have to find your audience.

HERE ARE MY QUESTIONS FROM HER:

Before the year ends what would you like to accomplish? Four more reviews on my books 9r even just one review on my memoir. I have no idea why but it seems like a set of numbers I can reach. At least I fucking hope.

Would you change from your current niche? If so why? Hell no, never! That’s not even a thought, the reason I wouldn’t? I’ve been raising kids nearly eighteen fucking years now and still have another eleven to go! I’m going to need this shit to stay sane haha!

One thing you would do better next time? There’s never just one thing to do better! Speaking from a parental point of view I’m always a work in progress on so many damn levels.

What have you learned from your blogging friends? Supporting others is essential. If you cannot support them do not expect them to support your ass.

What is your favorite tool to use for blogging? I love, the wordpress mobile app! I mean sometimes it’s a piece of shit and posts the same post like ten times but it is accessible and easy to use.

Your favorite skincare product? I actually don’t use skin products or anything, I wear make-up like twice a year only because I’m super fucking lazy. If I had to pick one that I know people around me use it would Olay! I’m told it’s fucking fabulous.

QUESTIONS?? How you get your followers to interact? What drives your blog? Do you struggle with content? If you do how do you get over it? What is the focus goal for your blog? What’s your favorite drinks?

MY NOMINEES

Life. Sucks. Laugh. Here

Just Write Right

My Alter Ego and Me

Meli’s Book Reviews

Ranting Ravens

Raised By Wolves

Well I suck ass, I don’t have fifteen to nominate, hhmmmm. Time to start following more blogs I think.

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Dingggg….Dongggg….ding, dong, ding dong, ding, dong….oh yeah it is ringing in like an annoying child playing ding, dong ditch at the fucking door. What The Fuck Wednesday arrives! Early fucking morning!

It was a peaceful sleep being had until I could begin to hear a noise like a door bell. Slowly getting louder, louder, and fucking louder. Eyes barely even open, rolling around trying to figure out what the fuck it was.

A little light begins to glow from below the edge of the bed. Reaching down in the dark to grab……..

A tablet! The nine year olds tablet to be exact. With an alarm for five fucking A.M.!!! Going off like a fucking doorbell!! Yes five in the early fucking morning.

Now, this would be okay if said child actually needed to be up or if I needed to be up but neither is the fucking case. He just decided he would randomly set an alarm for this time because he fucking could. He wanted to not sleep all morning but had the wrong time.

You fucking think! Like there’s no way he needs to ever be up that early even with school. Which is now a whole new what the fuck!

The provincial government has decided children will again do remote learning. While I’m not against this per say for those who can make it fucking work. For me? I fucking fail it! Like hard!

I am not a fucking teacher and know that. There’s reasons for that. I feel as though my kids will be lacking in so much education by the end of this that there will be no catching up.

What the fuck Wednesday! Anything else this week you want to throw in? Maybe some good news? A sleep in day? Anything that doesn’t suck ass would be fanfuckintastic!

Someone send me back to bed, I am too tired and miserable for this shit! Java! Lots and lots of java followed by a nap!

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Happy fucking hump day! It’s mid week yet again and what’s that?……..

Silence! There’s nothing! Not a fucking noise around me. Not a fucking thing to do this morning.

I know, I’m a shocked as you all are. It’s like a blissful bubble of silent security has been placed over my teeny tiny world and nobody can pop that shit!

I’m back out in the beautiful countryside of Manitoba close to what Canadians have deemed winterpig (Winnipeg) as it gets fucking cold here. Not just a little cold but can hit like minus fifty Celsius.

The difference being here this time is I only have two babies hanging with me and they are both semi self sufficient little shits. So that means this mama gets to relax, enjoy morning coffees and nap every fucking day!

What The Fuck? I don’t think I want to get used to this shit. I may never return to the chaos my life holds on the daily.

Ohhhh who am I kidding, as much as I enjoy this, I miss my babies who are back home unable to drive me to the brink of fucking insanity!

I just love them so much, no matter what shit they do! How can I not? They are all I’ve known for nearly eighteen years.

For now though, I’ll enjoy some down time, doing fuck all and catching up on those years of sleep I’ve so much lacked on.

Happy What The Fuck Wednesday! May your hump be small enough to step over to continue the remaining days of the week.

It’s Fuck It Friday!

Well actually it is a what the fuck Wednesday, fuck it friday! It’s been a long fucking week so I am rolling up a dual shot here.

What the fuck Wednesday this week was a bust! It is the first time I’ve missed doing the post but it was for reason’s out of respect for our dearly remembered who without them I would not even be able to post the shit I do!

Soooo onto the Fuck it Friday fuck it list! Ohhhhhh boy the love I have for this day of the week will never fucking disappear.

The youngest this morning refused to get out of bed. Yelling at me he was cold, no it wasn’t because the heat isn’t on. Turns out at some point throughout the night he stripped himself naked. Butt fucking naked, and for some reason we could not find said clothes the little shit stripped off! Where the fuck do clothes disappear too in a room. Only the holy fucking know in this house. So fuck it, off I go to find new ones so he can get his naked little ass out of bed and get ready for school. *sigh*

Alright, he’s up. Fights to take his pill, now unfortunately this is not one I can say fuck it to. He cannot be without it, so the fight for that shit continued.

Breakfast, this was a fucking futile endeavor, he does not want this, does not want that, he’s too fucking tired to chew! Yup, too tired to fucking chew, fuck it! He doesn’t want to eat this morning I’m going to send him to school with something in hand. At least it gives him the option to swallow the shit.

Fuck, as I’m writing this, I have just realized this is accurately a what the Wednesday and fuck it Friday literally fucking rolled into one! Fuck!

Just Fuck it! Fuck it all. Enjoy a day where you just drop the fucking ball and do not bend over to pick that shit up!

Happy fuck it Friday!

Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

My favorite fucking day of the week! Even though I’ve not had much time lately to keep up, sometimes my brain just writes shit all on its own and then I have to share it.

So here we go, when life gets to a point that we find others no longer serve us, we let go. Now letting go isn’t fucking easy and we wish sometimes it was.

Choices! Life is all about fucking choices! We make them, we live with them. No matter what.

I just wanted you there…….

I just wanted you there
To tell me it is ok
That I am doing what’s right
Supporting me through this
Holding me at night

I just wanted you there
To wipe away the tears
That flow to no end
Making me feel safe
Through this life’s bend

I just wanted you there
Nothing less or more
But you couldn’t see
Why I had to do this
It wasn’t for me

I just wanted you there
Being selfless for us
We needed the love and light
Not your jealous hate
You darkened us like a blanket of night

I just wanted you there
Walking beside me
So when the veil finally lifts
Your regret will set in
You’ve lost these gifts

Happy Shameless Self Promo Saturday! Feel free to drop your shit!

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Well fuck! Another wonderful hump day, humping in the non fun way! I should’ve instantly known the day but honestly they all kind of melt together these days!

I was up at four forty-four in the fucking morning. Who the fuck gets up that early? There’s no need to be! But all of a sudden my eyes pop open and boom! Wide a fucking wake. I laid my big ass down trying to sleep again but no go! Extra caffiene today please.

Then there was the wake up! We have been back home since Sunday and the youngest is back in school while here. Of course he is his miserable self and waking his ass up is just as fun.

He yells from his room he doesn’t want to be up. Then runs to the couch and throws himself down. Yells he’s starving but refuses to say what he wants. Tells me he isn’t changing his clothes or going to school. Oh yes, the morning routine with him is back to normal. How I fucking missed that shit! *sarcasm*

Older kids arrive from their dads for school prep. Dogs are going fucking nuts and youngest joins in barking back at them. Apparently he is telling them to shut up in dog language! I don’t know if that’s fucking accurate but it’s annoying as ever! At least he has now occupied himself with his tablet until he leaves.

Man oh man, what the fuck Wednesday! The only good thing you got going for me so far today is my new tattoo! Which I am so looking forward to. There is no better therapy in my life!

Happy what the fuck Wednesday. I hope yours has kicked off better than mine! If not, get up and kick its fucking ass. You can do it!

Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

Happy Halloween to all the little goblins, ghouls, witches and strange unidentifiable things that come out in the night! It’s going to be a great day for treats and tricks alike!

So here’s my sweet little treat for you all to enjoy on this day that is going to encompass a crazy ass full blue moon.

Not What It Seems………..

“Just listen”

As I began my rounds of the mansions grounds with Ben you could hear it off in the distance.

A slight grueling grunt echoed from the tree line.

“It’s nothing! Let’s finish up before it gets too late” Exclaimed Ben.

As we continued through the grounds the section, I hated most was coming up.

The narrow corridor was constructed back in eighteen hundred when the property was a working plantation.

Slowly pushing the old heavy wooden door open as we turned on the rent a cop flashlights they gleamed a golden shade that reflected off the stone walls making them appear almost glossy.

Condensation dripped through the cracks and down the sides of the tunnel which now engulfed us.

Other than the house help and us nobody ever entered into the dark, dingy original cellar.

It had become nothing more than a storage area, but its history and rumored stories of the past intrigued the youth of the town today.

It had become a sense of initiation to the new comers to be dared to enter alone.

Nearly every night we would be chasing them out, as they scurried to gather themselves, tripping over the lost belongings from the ones before.

“It’s awfully quiet in here tonight Ben, it has an extra bit of chill in the air”

“You’re just psyching yourself out man”

“Maybe, but I’ve got a weird feeling”

Creeping slowly, one foot in front of the other, illuminating the path in front of us we headed deeper. The light chasing back and forth along the open room, something caught my eye.

A light coloured leathery looking bag, propped against the wall in the far corner.

“Ben check this out”

My heart pounding like a drum against my chest I moved closer to it. Standing there terrified as I reached down and picked it up.

My fingers pinched the clasp, slowly pulling the string back to loosen the top open, Ben shown the light just above it.
My hand quivered as I reached into the darkness of the bottom.
I could feel it, a warm, furry ball touched the tips of my fingers.
With a firm grasp I locked around it, my heart racing even more, I wasn’t sure what I had found.
Sliding my hand back out, I saw it.

“A kitten”

Hahahaha, Happy Halloween 🎃

It’s Fuck It Friday!

Let the fuck its goooooo! Let the fuck its go! Don’t keep shit bottled up or you’ll want to blow!

I should probably work on the intros for this shit, I’ve done better before however I am too fucking tired and lazy today so fuck it! Read it or leave it, love it or don’t. It’s Fuck It Friday!

Thank gawd it is the weekend, not that I am working or anything but the kids sleep schedule has gotten all fucked up again. They were up until about three in the fucking morning. The weekend just allows me to use fuck it and ignore the fact their sleep habit needs to be altered. I’ll fix that shit later, maybe, I hope, fine it probably won’t fucking happen but I’ll throw some effort at it later.

I got up super fucking early, not that I needed to as all the shitheads are still snoring away peacefully but I decided fuck it, if I am going to be up I might as well watch the sunrise and down some java. I’m officially on number four of the shit and might just go fucking nap.

All the goblins, ghouls, witches and unicorns come out tomorrow. It’s time to give treats and make tricks. I have the crow and a grim reaper, green goblin thing this year. I tried to tell my eleven year old to not grow up so fast and enjoy her time as a youngin but fuck it. She is more stubborn than a fucking mule hanging on a cliff that just won’t budge from fear of falling. I don’t know where she gets it from, haha, total bullshit. She is just like her mama.

My days in Manitoba are almost at an end for a bit. It’s been fanfuckintastic being here. I don’t really want to return to the reality of my life back home but fuck it, I really miss my oldest babies and fur babies. So I’ll suck it up and return for a bit. Going to miss the country life.

Ahhhh yes, my fuck it Friday list is on a roll for sure! It is still early too. Maybe I’ll throw a few more fuck its in my bucket later….. right now I’m going to say fuck it and drink another coffee, get all jittery and do fuck all.

Happy Fuck It Friday! Get your list on, whatever it is and let the day begin.

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Tired, stuffy and cold living in a fucking winter wonderland mid week hump! Oh the joys of tis the fucking season and it isn’t even November yet!

It finally got cold enough with enough snow that I bought myself some winter boots. I hate having cold fucking toes, I don’t wear socks and I needed some boots anyway. Mukluks are fucking expensive but let me tell you, so worth the money if you can afford them, I definitely recommend. They also tend to last a very long time I’ve been told.

All hallows eve is nearly upon us and today we are venturing from the country to the city to buy costumes. This should be fucking fun. Kids on very little sleep, trying decide what they want to be amongst the hundreds of fucking costumes available. This will be a fucking adventure all its own.

Up until last night I was fucking winni ng the bedtime battle. They were all back on a regular sleep pattern. Nobody was miserable, it was fanfuckintastic! Today will be a whole different story, ugh!

Eleven pm, tablets down, laying down, no crap! I fell asleep. One am I wake up, two are MMA fighting in the fucking kitchen and the other is hiding in the corner looking for Halloween costumes online! Kick ass’s to bed, all is calm. At least I fucking thought so. So I fell back asleep.

I wake again a little later. Two are having snacks and chasing each other while all I hear is “mom she’s chasing me, she’s going to beat me up” a bunch of giggles and their uncle “no, she’s teaching you a lesson, it’s ok”. Thanks uncle but they need to be in bed, asleep. Next time I am sending them to his camper and he can deal with getting the shitheads to bed. Get to fucking bed.

The other one is hiding in bed beside me playing on his fucking tablet. Are you kidding me? Give me that shit and go to sleep. Then he had to pee, then he needed a drink and then he repeatedly told me he can’t sleep. All he had to do was close his eyes. Boom out in five fucking seconds.

Someone send me extra coffee and some fucking energy please. This is going to be a long ass day!

Happy what the fuck Wednesday, humpday!

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Ahhhhh yes, the hump in the week that is always challenging, annoying and exhausting! The day that continues to be a state of what the fuck.

Last night when I fell asleep around midnight the boys were still up, in true fashion of me my mid-morning bathroom run was about four thirty. Wouldn’t you fucking know it, the boys still wide awake. These little shits should be a fucking ball of sunshine when they get up *eye roll*

I’ve been trying to get the daughter back on a regular sleep pattern. I thought I had won the fucking battle last night. She stayed up most the day falling asleep around four in the afternoon and still asleep when I went to bed. It was a fucking fail. Turns out she has now been up since about five this morning, with some luck and poking to keep her up it might happen. Eventually, maybe, fuck, probably not.

Outside has officially become a winter fucking wonderland. Oh yes, woke up to about two inches of the white shit the sky decided to puke up through the night. It looks beautiful but what a bunch of shit, I did not pack for fucking winter. I’m told most people who visit Manitoba pack for it in July or August. That would’ve been good fuckimg info to have before I left. Time to fucking hibernate.

Is it bedtime yet? I feel like I could use a break already from today. I guess I’ll just have to down some extra caffeine and suck it the fuck up. Fingers crossed it goes quick, the kids don’t wake miserable and the daughter sleeps tonight.

Ugh what the fuck Wednesday, you did me good for a couple weeks now this? I had high hopes we were going to be best friends soon.

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